


I Need You

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03e08 The Women of Qumar, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-04-09
Updated: 2003-04-09
Packaged: 2019-05-30 21:24:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15105155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming.  You just hold on."





	1. I Need You

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**I Need You**

**by: Rachel**

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
**Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
**Category(s):** Angst/Romance   
**Rating:** TEEN  
**Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
**Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
**Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

Josh's POV

I'm sitting in Amy Gardener's office listening to her yammer about how the art on her walls is supposed to make men uncomfortable. She's had this stupid grin on her face since I walked in the door and I'm really getting sick of it.  When I met with her earlier I was stunned by how unattractive she seemed. Not that she isn't a beautiful woman, it was more her personality that was off putting. All through out the meeting I kept wondering if she'd done that lockjaw thing in college. I came over here tonight hoping to catch some glimpse of reason for why I had such a big crush on her in college. I've been here twenty minutes now and I'm still clueless. I hear a voice in my head "Patience is a virtue Joshua." I inwardly respond, "The Ivy league waits for no one Donnatella."

"Josh, Josh, are you listening to me at all?" 

I glance over at Amy and shrug, "Well I just wanted to tell you about the UN thing." 

She smirks again, "And as I said before, you could have called me about that or even had your secretary call me. Why don't you tell me why you really came here tonight." 

"She's my assistant," I automatically answer as I stand to leave. 

Amy frowns, "Excuse me?" 

"I don't have a secretary, I have an assistant." 

Amy nods, "Right, you don't want people to say you're screwing your secretary, it sounds better if they say you're screwing your assistant?" 

A chill goes through my spine and my voice gets cold, "Donna Moss is my assistant and nothing more, it would be a mistake for you to imply anything else EVER again." 

Amy shakes her head, "Are you threatening me?" 

I growl, "I don't make threats Amy, that was a promise. You have a problem with me; you take it up with me – got it? 

Amy's still smirking at me; she must be dumber than I thought. Even the most freshmen of congressmen know not to argue with me when I'm using that voice. 

And then she's speaking again, "You know the problem with guys like you?" 

"Guys like me?" 

She nods and continues, "The problem with guys like you is that you want to get hit over the head." 

I shrug, "Whatever, just stay away from Donna." 

Amy laughs, "She's a college drop-out and she's a secretary, I'll talk to or about her however I want to." 

I narrow my eyes, "Just so you know, if it weren't for some convincing arguments that Donna made to me earlier today I wouldn't be considering changing the words in the treaty. All you did was quote examples of prostitution that were obviously forced. It was Donna who gave me a rational reason for taking another look at the treaty."

Amy laughs, "Was that before or after your quickie at lunch? I mean if I were gonna fuck you; I'm sure I could get you to do just about anything. I just prefer to use my intellect to make my point." 

I glare at her, "I'm still waiting to see evidence of said intellect. I certainly never did when we were at Harvard. I met with you today at the First Lady's insistence. She seems to like you, but you should know that she's quite fond of Donna. If you have any interest in staying on her good side, you'd be wise to treat Donna with the respect she deserves. 

Amy rolls her eyes, "You're a man so I can understand how your long-  
legged, blue-eyed secretary might seem very important to you, but Abigail Bartlet is an educated woman, I promise you she doesn't hold your secretary in higher regard than me. 

At that moment my beeper starts vibrating. I glance at it and realize it's Donna letting me know that if I don't leave now I'm going to be late for a meeting with the President. I scowl at Amy, "Don't forget what I said Amy, I protect my own." 

She laughs and walks back into her office. I'm about to go after her and continue the argument but my beeper sounds again and I realize that I have to leave right this instant if I'm going to make it on time for my meeting with POTUS. Hurrying out of the building I clear my mind of Amy and start mentally preparing myself to brief the President about my meetings on the hill earlier in the day. 

I gasp as I'm hit hard, not once but twice.  The first hit was my left foot and the second my lower back. The pain isn't nearly so bad as the last time, I hardly feel anything. I briefly wonder if that means I'm already dead and send a silent prayer up to God that I'm not. I'm no more ready to die today than I was last year in Roslyn. My hand reaches to put pressure on my back and I glance down at my foot expecting to see blood pouring out of me. There's nothing there though and I glance down at the hand that had been supporting my back and realize that it too is clear, it's wet but not bloody. I glance down at my foot again and this time see the empty remnants of a water balloon. 

Understanding dawns on me and I glance up towards the window of Amy's office. She laughs and shouts down at me, "Took you long enough, where'd you think it came from?" 

She disappears from her window and I look around me as the panic rises in my chest. I scan the area hoping to find the gunmen before they get me. I know they must be here somewhere. People rush past me and I struggle to scream out to them that they're in danger. To warn them that they need to duck down before they got shot or killed. I start to gasp for breath and the world around me starts to go black. I force myself to take several long deep breaths and the world starts to come back into focus. I can't pass out here – it's not safe. A woman stops and asks me if I'm okay. I nod affirmatively and back away from her – she must work for them.

I look around me again and take cover behind a parked car. I slink down to the ground and clutch my chest with one hand while the other hand pulls my cell phone out of my pocket. I hit the first speed dial number and force myself to breath in and out as the phone rings. I gasp in relief when she answers on the second ring. The phone is shaking in my hand and I just barely mange to gasp out her name. "Josh," she responds alarmed. I can feel my whole body shaking and I choke out her name again. I hear the fear in her voice, "Josh, where are you? What's wrong?" I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on." 


	2. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

Donna's POV

I hang up the phone and attempt to calm my panic. My worst fear has just been realized. Josh is out in public somewhere alone and he's having an attack. I have to get to him before anyone else does. "Okay Donna take a deep breath and think!" I instruct myself. Where is he now – it's my job to know where he is at all times, but he hasn't exactly been forthcoming with his schedule of late. I think for another moment, Okay, I just paged him and he didn't call back so he must've still been at Amy Gardener's office. 

I grab the first intern that passes my desk and tell her that I need her to let someone in POTUS' office know that Josh isn't going to make it to his appointment and that he'll have to reschedule. I know it's not fair to do that to a poor intern but quite frankly I don't have time to find someone else. I give her a sharp look and add, "This is a very important message. Make sure you go deliver it ASAP."

That said I turn and sprint out of the west wing. I'm vaguely aware that people are looking at me strangely but I have one destination in mind and nobody is going to get in my way. I briefly contemplate driving but quickly realize that the traffic will just slow me down. I'm running harder and faster than I ever have in my life but I can't stop until I see him – until I can hold him in my arms and let him know he's safe – until I can know he's safe.

I slow down as I come around the corner at Amy's office building and begin to slowly look around. Where would Josh have gone to hide. I could call him on his cell phone, but the ringing might be upsetting for him. I silently chastise myself for not remembering to change his phone over to vibrate earlier in the day. I begin to panic again as I look around and still fail to find him. I'm so close but I might as well be on another continent for all the good I'm doing him right now. 

I step behind one of the cars parked on the side of the road and head for a side alley. Maybe he's hiding there. But then what if I'm completely wrong? What if he went somewhere else after he met with Amy? How the hell am I ever going to…. I stop as I trip over something and almost fall flat on my face. Looking down I'm simultaneously relieved and terrified to see Josh.

Relieved because I've found him, but terrified because he's worse than I've ever seen him. He's curled in a fetal position rocking himself back and forth with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. I quickly drop to the ground and pull him into my arms. I expect him to fight me and I find myself even more frightened when he doesn't even acknowledge my presence. Fear fills my mind. What can I do now? How do I get him to a safe location without anyone noticing? How can I help him? 

"Donna"

I snap out of my thoughts, did Josh just mumble my name? Did he speak or is it just my wishful thinking.  

"Donna"

That time he's louder and clearer and I'm sure that it's really him. He knows I'm with him now – that's something at least.

"Donna… Where's Donna? Need Donna."

Oh god, he doesn't know I'm here. He still thinks he's back at the Newseum. Suddenly I'm shaking even worse than he is – He's back at the night and he's asking for me – he must have asked for me that night as well. He needed me and I wasn't there. Tears are coursing down my face and I begin to gently rock Josh back and forth and murmur in his ear, "You're okay, I'm here, you're safe now." I'm not sure who I'm trying to convince, him or me but I don't have any clue what else I can do for him. I'll just hold him till he knows he safe – I'll just hold him till he knows I'm here.

I jump a million miles when Josh's cell phone rings. I quickly answer it and Margaret starts chirping in my ear, "Where the heck are you? Josh bailed on a meeting with the President? Leo is beyond pissed."

"Margaret" I say trying to keep the panic out of my voice, "I need to speak to Leo now!" 

"Is everything okay? Where are you guys?"

"Margaret. Leo. Now!"

She doesn't say a word but immediately patches me through and a minute later Leo picks up, "Where the hell are you Joshua? And this better be good!!!!"

"Leo, it's Donna. I…."

"They're shooting again… Get down Donna, get down."

Tears spring to my eyes again, and I whisper in his ear, "No Josh, nobody's shooting. It's over. You're okay now."

I forget for a minute that I'm still on the phone with Leo until I hear his voice, "Where are you? I'll send a car." 

"Outside of the WLC offices.

"Outside?"

"Yeah, we're hiding behind a parked car."

Leo sighed, "Hang tight Donna, the car's on the way. You just take care of him and I'll brief the President."

I'm crying again but this time it's in gratitude, "Thank you Leo."

"Yeah," Leo replied. "We're going to take care of this."

I hang up and for the first time since I received Josh's phone call earlier I finally feel like I can breath. 


	3. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

Leo's POV

I am furious with him. I love Josh like a son, but nobody, and I mean nobody, blows off Jed Bartlett and gets away with it – not while I'm his Chief of Staff.  

I am all ready to tear Josh a new one when I hear Donna's voice on the phone. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. And then I hear Joshua's voice. I think my heart actually stopped for a moment. I heard the same desperation I heard the day that he yelled at the president. Only then I'd been able to help him. 

Donna's soothing words to Josh bring me back to reality and my mind takes over from my heart. In control now, I tell her that I'll send a car. I stumble a little again when she tells me they're outside but I push my fear down again and do my best to assure her that I'll take of it – hopefully my words calm her more than they do me.

I hang up the phone and shout for Margaret. She's on alert from having spoken to Donna before and quickly rushes into my office. I'm barking orders as she enters the room: "Get Ron Butterfield on the phone ASAP and then get Sam, CJ, and Toby into my office yesterday." 

She rushes out to follow my orders promptly and the next thing I know she's letting me know she has Ron on the line and that CJ and Toby are on their way. Sam's on the hill in meetings, but Bonnie paged him to get back here ASAP. I quickly explain the situation to Ron and arrange for a car and a few agents to be outside the private entrance in five minutes.

  
CJ's POV

I'm just about to give my final briefing of the day and call a full lid when Carol comes barreling into my office at breakneck speed: "Leo's office, NOW!" My legs are moving and propelling me towards Leo's office before I can even think to ask questions.

I feel like I've been punched in the gut when I see the abject panic on Leo's face. This is a man that's been to war, battled alcohol and drug addiction and worse. Not much can make him afraid. I mentally run a quick scan of what could be wrong. Suddenly I place the look on Leo's face as the same one he had the night of the shooting and the same he had last Christmas – Josh. It's got to be Josh.

Leo hangs up the phone and the words fall quickly out of his mouth: "Josh and Donna are outside of the WLC offices. They're hiding behind a car – Josh is having an episode. Toby, you're going to head out to the private entrance where you'll meet up with two Secret Service agents. They'll have a car ready and you'll go get them. When you get there don't worry about anything except getting him in the car, understood? The agents will take it from there." Toby nods and rushes out of the office.

I stand there immediately understanding what my role will be. They're outside of a highly visible building and Josh is having an attack. The likelihood that nobody saw him is slim to none. The press and by extension the American people are about to find out that one of the most powerful men in the White House, and one of the President's closest advisors, suffers from a serious psychiatric disorder.

We just finished with hearings that investigated an alleged cover-up of the President's health and now this. If it were anyone else –if I didn't care so much about him, I'd recommend that the President ask for Josh's resignation. I'm just as sure that Leo knows this is the politically wise course as well. But this is Josh, he's practically my brother and Leo's son and there's a reason we work for Bartlett. His senior staff are a part of his family, and politics aside, Josh is one of us, and we take care of our own. I don't even want to think about what Josh would do if he were forced to resign. Politics is in Josh's blood – he can't lose this job – this life. 

I blink back the tears that are starting to form in my eyes and see that Leo is waiting for me to regain my control. I swallow deeply and ask: "Does anyone know yet?"

Leo's eyes flash with gratitude he'll never openly express but I know he's glad for my calm right now. He sighs: "Nobody's called yet, but they're outside. Even if nobody saw him, I'm not sure it's a good idea to keep it quiet anyway. Now that we've involved the secret service, anything short of complete honesty will smack of a cover-up."

I nod, I don't like it but I know he's right: "What do you need from me first?"

He sighs again, "You're scheduled to do your briefing right now, if you're not in there the press is gonna know something's up. Go in there and give the briefing as if nothing is going on. We're not going to talk about this thing until we know for sure what we're dealing with. I just wanted you to know now in case you get the question."

I nod, "What do you want me to say if someone does ask?"

Leo rubs his eyes, "I don't know, you heard he's not well, maybe give them flu stats or something."

I shake my head, "Flu stats Leo? They'll be screaming cover up before I even get the first sentence out."

Leo growled, "I don't know CJ; just don't say PTSD, not yet."

  
Leo's POV

CJ leaves and I make one final phone call before walking over to the door connecting to the Oval office. I knock quickly and enter. The President looks up and I read the irritation all over his face. But then he takes in my haggard appearance and I see the concern wash over him, "What's going on? Where's Josh?"

"Sir –"

"Tell me now Leo."

I sigh as I sit down in a chair across from him and fleetingly wonder how I became an old man who sighs all the time. As the seconds pass and I don't speak, the President's concern grows. Finally he breaks the silence, "Leo." I nod but don't respond and he furrows his brow, "Leo? You're scaring me here." 

I nod again: "Josh had an episode tonight."

Jed's eyes widen, "How bad?"

I shrug, "I don't know for sure, I called to find out where he was and Donna answered. I could hear him in the background. He sounded… he sounded bad."

The President nodded, "Where are they."

I nod, "That's the bad part, they're outside of the WLC offices." 

Jed winces, "Outside you say?"

"Yeah, I don't know how bad it was or if anyone saw him but I just sent Toby with two secret service agents and an agency car to pick them up, so we're going to have to go public anyway."

The President shook his head, "It's my fault we have to go public with this."

My head jerks up at his words and I look him in the eye, "No sir, it's not your fault – Not in any way."

He wouldn't be satisfied; "We have to go public because we just got through hearings about how I never went public about the MS. Not to mention the fact that Josh has PTSD because he got shot because he was working for me."

I stand and glare at him defiantly, "Mr. President, if you want to go down that road, then it's my fault, because I brought Josh into the campaign. Or wait, maybe we should blame Josh's father Noah, he's the one that encouraged Josh to go into politics in the first place."

He finally agrees with my point and lets it go, "What are we doing?"

I shrug, "There's not much we can do right now. Sam's on his way back from the Hill so he'll be here when Josh gets back, I put in a call to the guy that Josh has been seeing and he's on his way. Sir, I wanted to ask –;

Jed nodded immediately understanding, "Have the agents take him straight to the residence. Once Abby gets wind of this she'll insist he stay there for a few days anyway. She's at a dinner, some ladies leadership thing, I'll get her back here." 

I smile grateful, "Thank you Sir."

He scowls at me, "Surely you can call me Jed under these circumstances."

I give him a slight shake in this office, "Never going to happen in this office Sir."

He sighs, "What's CJ doing, you sent Toby and Sam's on the way back from the hill? What's CJ doing?"

"CJ's doing her briefing now, if she didn't go in there the press would know something was up. We're just hoping she won't get the question yet."

He frowns, "And if she does?"

I shrug, "I don't know, we're not admitting anything yet, not until we have a clearer picture ourselves of what's going on."

The president nods, "You'll update me?"

"Absolutely Mr. President." 


	4. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
Outside the WLC Offices

Josh's POV

Oh God, it was so bad. I was back there, only Donna was there and I couldn't find her. I'm vaguely aware that I'm not there anymore but I can't be entirely sure. Donna's here – that much I know now. I don't know where we are, or why we're here, but Donna keeps telling me we're safe and I try to believe her. But it's cold here, it's very cold….

  
Donna's POV

He seems to be responding better and I think he knows that I am here. But he still looks so bad, and if anyone sees him like this. . . . What was I thinking, just tearing out of there like that? God, Half the press corp probably hopped in their cars to follow me. I should have at the very least brought a car or someone to help me get him out of here. How could I have been so thoughtless? Josh doesn't pay me to get emotional and stupid. He pays me to think fast and help him, not think stupid and hurt him. 

  
Toby's POV

I can't believe it's happening again. I feel like I'm back at Roslyn all over again. I have to get to Josh. I have to help him. The agents are looking at me with concern and I modulate my breathing and nod at them. I tap my fingers on the door in nervous anticipation. Josh must have sounded bad for Leo to send the Secret Service. My mind floods with all the implications that come from that action alone. The Republicans will scream cover-up, they'll scream misuse of government agents. Josh's illness will be exposed and at the worst possible time. We just barely survived the President's disclosure, and in fact, we may still lose reelection over it. It's not that I'm not thinking of Josh's welfare, it's just that it's my job to think about the hard things even when I don't want to – that's how I can help Josh the most.

An agent clears his throat and I realize that car has stopped and we're here. I quickly leap out of the car and look around. The agents are immediately sweeping the area in search of them. It's only a minute before one of the agents catches my attention. I rush over to him and as I round the car I catch my first glimpse of them. Donna's face is streaked with tears and Josh – Josh is like a child seeking security in his mother's arm. I quickly shake myself out of my shock and move towards them.

  
Donna's POV

I panicked when I first heard a person moving towards us. I let out my breath when the person comes into view and I see it's a Secret Service agent. A moment later and Toby is there. I see the momentary shock in his eyes before he begins to move towards us and think, `Yeah, welcome to my world buddy.' I start preparing Josh to move to the waiting car. It's not easy - He's still so confused and scared. He seems to take comfort from my embrace, and he immediately stiffened at the sound of Toby and the Secret Service agent. 

Toby leans over and gently puts his hands on Josh's shoulders, all the while softly telling him that everything will be okay. It takes some effort, but between the two of us we are finally able to get Josh to a standing position. Two secret service agents flank us as we move slowly towards the waiting car. The unusual activity has drawn a crowd of onlookers.  Suddenly, I see flashbulbs go off, and I think I hear someone calling Josh and Toby's names. The sudden flurry startles all of us, but I force myself to focus on Josh and getting him to safety.

Once we're safely in the car I can tell that Josh is definitely aware of his surroundings. His features relax slightly, and he pulls me to him in a thankful embrace.  He looks at Toby and finally acknowledges him.  "Toby, I. . ." Suddenly he stops speaking and his face goes blank. I frown, "Josh?" He doesn't respond and he's shaking again. I wrap my arms around him and hold him tightly.

  
Josh's POV

Toby's here. Toby's here, and he's got that look on his face. I thought it was just a nightmare – that I wasn't really back there. But now Toby is here and he's got that same look that he had on his face that night. Everything's dark and distant again. Donna starts rubbing circles on my back and I focus on that. Everything else seems far away, but Donna's got her arms wrapped around me and I know she's here with me. I just hope that doesn't mean that she was shot too. The whole world seems to be spinning and I can't say for sure what's real anymore.

  
Donna's POV

Josh is scaring me again. I thought he was getting better but now he's decidedly worse. I glance over at Toby and he shrugs helplessly. Neither one of us have any clue what to do for Josh.  He tightens his grip on me, and I hope that means that I'm helping him. He whimpers a little and then whispers so quietly I can't hear him. "What was that Josh?" 

A little louder this time, "Toby?" Toby moves closer and takes his hand, "I'm here Josh." Josh sighs, "Toby's here – I'm shot." I gasp, of course he's made that connection. Toby understands at the same moment that I do and I see the horror flash in his eyes. I shake my head and brush a hand over Josh's cheek, "No Joshua, Toby isn't here because you've been shot again. You haven't been shot. We're all okay." Josh is getting agitated now, "Toby's here – I'm shot," he repeats. 

Toby clear his throat, "Do you remember what I promised you that night Josh? I promised you that you would be fine. Do you remember that?" Josh is silent for a moment but then finally nods and Toby continues. "I promised you that you would be okay and you were okay. I'm going to promise you the same thing again tonight. You, and Donna, and all of us are going to be just fine. Do you believe me?" Josh shudders, "You promise?" Toby nods, "I promise, do you believe me?" Josh nods and we fall into silence.

I smile gratefully at Toby and he returns a slight smile. I'm not sure he even knows how much his words have comforted Josh and me for that matter. 

  
The White House

CJ's POV

I didn't get the question, but half a dozen beepers went off as I was ending the briefing. Nobody was rude enough to leave the briefing to call in but I'm pretty sure they will know what is going on about five seconds after I leave the room. I half-heartedly called a full lid, and quickly left the pressroom. I had Carol give the security guards explicit instructions not to permit anyone from the press back to my office, including Danny. I know we're going to have to make an announcement later but right now I'm more worried about Josh.

  
Donna's POV

To my relief, we're soon pulling through the private gates of the White House. I'm a little confused when we turn away from the main part of the building. I look questioningly at the agent and he tells me, "Mr. McGarry's instructions were to take you straight to the residence." I nod gratefully, knowing that the last thing Josh needs right now is to have people gawking at him. 

We pull up to the building and wait for the agents to get out first. Then Toby gently pulls Josh away from me, coaxing him out of the car. I follow, keeping a hand firmly on Josh's back. As I step out of the car I'm hit by a blast of cold night air. I'm confused when I look down and realize that the entire front of my blouse is wet. Looking at Josh I realize that the back of his coat and shirt are also soaking wet.   Obviously, I got wet when I embraced Josh, but I can't for the life of me figure out how he got wet. We're in the middle of a drought and it hasn't rained for weeks so it's not like he sat in a puddle.

I move towards Josh and take a quick sniff of the back of his shirt to see if I can smell what's on him. Toby looks at me strangely for a moment but I just shrug not wanting to explain. It didn't smell like anything and I think it must be water – but where did it come from? I sigh, thinking that if the cut on his hand was hard to figure out, random water will be even tougher. 

  
Josh's POV

Donna just sniffed my back.  She tried to hide it, but she definitely smelled me. I grin despite myself. I mean how can I be the crazy one when Donna just smelled me? Toby's looking at me strangely, well I mean he's been looking at me strangely since I've been aware enough to see him at all, but now he's kind of smirking. Some people will tell you that Toby never smiles, but they're wrong. You just have to be able to see the smile behind his scowl.

I've been lost in my thoughts and didn't notice where we were going. Suddenly the First Lady is buzzing around me and I realize that we're in the den of the residence. I look around and realize that Donna's gone. I try to stand and look for her, but the First Lady's gone into doctor mode and she's not about to let me go anywhere until she's satisfied she's thoroughly checked me out. Before I know it she's already taken my blood pressure, temperature, and pulse. She frowns, "Is that water on your shirt?" I pause for a minute before I remember, "Yeah, it's water."

She waits for an explanation but I don't give her one and she continues to putter around me. Donna returns with a clean shirt for me. I feel some of the tension in me release when Donna comes back. The First Lady takes a step back, apparently satisfied that, physically at least, I'm fine. Dr. Bartlett smiles, "I'll give you two a few moments alone."

Finally we're alone and I don't hesitate to pull Donna into an embrace. She smiles sadly at me and whispers, "You scared me." I nod, "Thank you for being there Donnatella." She lays her head on my chest and whispers, "Anytime, anytime you need me Joshua." 


	5. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

Sam's POV

The entire senior staff followed Dr. Bartlett and Josh to the residence. Toby told us there were photographers on the site. I'm so agitated I could jump out of my skin. 

Once again I wasn't there when Josh needed me. At Roslyn I didn't even notice he was missing. At Christmas I was so preoccupied with my own life that I didn't even notice he was falling apart until the scene in the Oval.  And then tonight – Bonnie paged me back from the hill but she didn't tell me why. I didn't even hurry back. 

I jump to my feet when the door to the den opens and Dr. Bartlett emerges, closing the door firmly behind her.

She smiles reassuringly; "He's going to be just fine."

The group lets out a collective sigh but I can't relax. They said that he would be fine after Christmas and look where we are now.

Leo clears his throat, "Do we know why his shirt and coat were all wet or for that matter, what caused the attack in the first place?"

Dr. Bartlett shrugs, "I don't know, I didn't want to push him too much. I asked him about his shirt and he said that it is water but that's all he would say on the matter. Toby, do you have any ideas?"

Toby shakes his head, "No, I he kept going in and out on the car ride."

I spin around and punch the wall hard. I can feel worried eyes on my back but I don't turn as I speak, "How can we help him if we don't even know what happened?"

There's a quick knock on the door.

Carol enters gingerly, "Sorry to interrupt, but CJ asked me to let her know if I heard any details. CJ smiles at her, "Come on in and fill us in."

Carol nodded, "I overheard some reporters talking.  Apparently Josh was leaving his meeting with Amy Gardner. He was down on the street and she threw a couple of water balloons at him out of her office window. One of them hit his back, the other his foot. The episode apparently started then." 

"I'm going to fucking KILL that woman. We're all stunned to hear Donna talk like that. Josh must have told her.

CJ nods, "Sing it sister!"

  
Den

Donna's POV

I'm shaking I'm so angry. I can't believe that she would do that to my Joshua. Oh I am going to wring her neck so hard it breaks into a thousand pieces. I'm pacing back and forth thinking of all the different ways that I can make Amy Gardner pay for her hideously insensitive action. 

"Donna"

Josh's voice is strangled and desperate, and I turn towards him, all anger towards Amy replaced with concern for Josh. "What Josh?" 

He sighs, "We're in the residence Donna. I guarantee you that the President, First Lady, and the entire senior staff are right outside that door." He gives me a small, sad smile. "I may be having a nervous breakdown, but what's your excuse?"

I can't return his smile. My hand flies to my mouth, "What have I done? Oh Josh, I'm so sorry. I embarrassed you. I -;

He cuts me off and takes my hand, leading me over to the door and opening it.  Sure enough, everyone is right outside. By the looks on their faces, they did in fact hear my inappropriate language. I look at the group and try to decide who I should apologize to first. Oh that's easy enough.

"Mr. President, I don't know what to say, I'm so embarrassed by my language. I-"

He shakes me off with a wave of the hand, "Donna, don't worry about it." 

I nod, "Thank you sir."

Leo clears his throat, "Josh, the guy you've been talking to is down the hall. Do you feel up to talking to him?" 

Josh nods and squeezes my hand before walking down the hall and disappearing from sight.

  
CJ's POV

Donna still looks mortified and I walk over and give her a much-  
needed hug. Much needed by the both of us I'm sure.

Leo looks around at everyone gathered, "Okay folks, Josh is in with the doctor.  We can't really do anymore for him now. Why don't we all get back to work and see what we can to do to handle this situation. I'm sure the First Lady will be happy to keep us updated if Josh needs us for anything."

Leo's words snap us all out of the trance we're in. Donna doesn't look too happy about it but Abbey promises to let us know the minute Josh is done. Reluctantly we all troop out of the Residence and back to the West Wing. 

The phone on Donna's desk is ringing incessantly. I shake my head at her as she starts to sit down, "I'm going to need some extra help today. You'll work out of my office if that's okay with you." 

Donna nods, "I was just going to reschedule Josh's appointments for the next few days."

I shake my head again, "That can wait a bit. Everyone you call is going to want answers about what's going on and we have to decide what we're going to tell people."

She smiles shakily and follows me into my office, "What can I do for you?" 

I close the door behind her before we can be interrupted, "Just so you know, the first thing we need to do is figure out to deal with the press, but when that's done you and I have a another task. We're going to level Amy Gardner for doing this to Joshua."

Donna's grin is so evil I get shivers up my spine, "I'm glad to hear you're on board. 

The moment ends when my office door and Sam, Toby, and Bruno all pour in. Donna takes it as her cue and heads out. She stops in the doorway and we exchange a secret smile, each already starting to plan Amy Gardner's demise.

I look over at the three guys and they're all giving me these puppy dog looks, even Bruno looks frightened of me. I grin at the thought and shrug my shoulders, "What?" They all break the glance and begin to do very manly things like clear their throat or in Sam's case straightening his hair

Bruno is the first to speak up, "We should get down to figuring this out now."

  
Bruno's POV

When we got to CJ's office we interrupted CJ and Donna conspiring about something. From the look they exchanged as Donna was leaving, I can tell that someone is about to be in a lot of trouble. From Donna's words earlier, I can pretty much tell that it's going to be Amy Gardner.

I'm new around here, but I already know to be frightened when the sisterhood mobilizes to protect one of their own. Donna and CJ are an especially scary combination and especially when it's Josh Lyman they're protecting. Hell, everyone in Washington knows that.

  
CJ's POV

We finally have a media strategy worked out, but it includes Josh giving a statement, so we're going to have to wait till Josh is done with Stanley to know when, if ever, he'll be ready to give a statement about this.

The guys leave my office and Donna waits a minute before coming into my office. She sits down and her smile is as evil as earlier, "I've got some ideas, what have you got?" I sit down across from her and we begin to plot.

  
Leo's POV

Bruno stopped by to warn me about Donna and CJ. It's not that I don't want to avenge what's happened to Josh, I just want to make sure we nail the right person. Sure it was insensitive to throw a water balloon at him, but in all fairness Amy had no idea what the repercussions could be.  I'm not about to stop them from teaching her a lesson or two. I'm just going to be on hand to make sure it doesn't go too far. 


	6. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

Six Hours Later

White House Residence

Donna's POV

Josh finally finished with the doctor a little while ago and Dr. Bartlett gave him a sedative to help him sleep. I'm sitting here just watching him breath. I struggle with the desire to climb into the bed and wrap myself around him. I settle for running my hand through his hair.

A few minutes later the door opens and Dr. Bartlett enters. She smiles kindly at me, "You should get some sleep too. I can give you something if you'd like." 

I shake my head. "I'm fine, thanks."

She frowns, "I wasn't asking Donna. You need to get some rest or you'll be no good to Josh tomorrow. It's going to be a long day and he's going to need you at your best."

I sigh, "I want to be awake if he has a nightmare."

Dr. Bartlett shakes her head, "Donna, I gave Josh a sedative. He'll be out for hours. Tomorrow night might be a different story. Tonight is your night to get some rest."

Seeing that she's not going to back down on this, I agree to take a sedative on the condition that she wakes me if Josh needs anything. She also agrees to get a cot brought in so that I can be in the same room with him when Josh wakes up.

  
The Next Day

White House Residence

Josh's POV

I'm clinging to deep sleep. I can't remember the last time I felt so at peace. I roll over in the bed and groan as sunlight floods my face. I frown, wondering why the window is on the wrong side of the room. Looking around me, my eyes fall on Donna sleeping on a cot next me. Suddenly I remember where I am and why I'm here. Remembering my episode, I start to panic a little. I can't face the consequences of what happened yesterday yet, so I focus my attention on watching Donna sleep. My breathing finally evens out, and I sigh in relief and fall back to sleep. 

  
CJ's Office

CJ's POV

I'm a few minutes away from my morning briefing and I'm dreading it more than I can ever remember. We've asked an expert in PTSD to accompany me to the briefing to talk generally about the illness and its implications. 

Carol knocks on my door, interrupting my thoughts, "Dr. Timmons is here." I stand and put on my best smile for the doctor, "Thank you for coming on such short notice Dr. Timmons. The White House appreciates your willingness to help out." 

He smiles warmly and immediately I like him, "I'll help however I can Ms. Cregg.  Stanley Keyworth is a close colleague of mine. With Mr. Lyman's permission, we've spoken enough for me to have a fair idea of what we're dealing with here."

I frown, "I'm sorry, there must have been some sort of miscommunication, we don't want you to talk specifically about Josh's case." 

He nods, "Of course Ms. Cregg. It's just that PTSD has many manifestations. I won't be specifically speaking about Mr. Lyman's symptoms, but it will be easier if I can narrow my explanation to the issues that directly apply to Mr. Lyman and the trauma that he has experienced."

Carol knocks on the door again, letting us know that it's time for the briefing to start. 

I smile kindly at the doctor, "Normally we would have prepared you for the type of questions that you might get, but unfortunately there wasn't time for that this morning. If there are any questions about which you're unsure, just glance in my direction and I'll jump in and help."

  
The Briefing Room

I'm not surprised to find the pressroom crowded almost above capacity. Not just my regulars, but reporters from every paper within driving distance. Questions begin to fly at me but I ignore them and wait for silence to begin my briefing. Finally the room quiets and I begin.

"Good morning folks, I have a good idea why you're all here, but I do have some government business to discuss before we get started. After that I will be making a brief statement about yesterday's incident involving Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman.  Following my statement, there will be time for questions."  

"The President has canceled his planned trip to Nevada this weekend. The Vice President will be attending in his place."

Danny interrupts at this point, "CJ, has the President given a reason for canceling his trip."

I shake my head, "No Danny, plans change all the time around here. Moving on, the manager of the mess has asked me to inform you that the price of your daily jolt of caffeine has indeed been raised by a quarter. The nice man that works the cash register isn't trying to steal your money, he's just doing his job."

There is a playful groan from the regulars who know me well enough to realize that I'm stalling, but like me well enough to allow me to start when I'm ready.

A reporter I've never seen before breaks the moment, "I'm sorry Claudia, but if you're done rambling about coffee prices, I think we'd all agree to moving on to the reason we're all here today. This administration has lied to the public yet again and no amount of stalling on your part is going to make that truth go away.  How long has this administration known that Mr. Lyman is mentally ill?"

I take a deep breath and count to ten before responding, "There are a lot of new people in the room today so I'd like to make a few things clear." 

"First off, I like to call on people, so if you have a question you want answered your best bet is to raise your hand."  

"Second, if you're new in the briefing room and we haven't met, it's best if you state your name and the publication you represent before you begin. And since we're doing introductions, my name is either Ms. Cregg, or CJ if you consider me a friend. Only my father calls me Claudia." 

"Thirdly, as I stated at the beginning of the briefing, there will be no questions concerning Josh Lyman until after I give my statement."

I take another deep breath and look for a friendly face in the crowd. I find Toby standing at the back of the room and meet his eyes for a long moment before I begin.

"Everyone who was at Rosslyn a year ago was haunted by the memories of the violent events that occurred that evening. I'm sure that many of you who were present that night share the same nightmares as the President's staff. Josh Lyman suffered the additional trauma of being shot. Our emotional recovery began after the 14 hours of surgery were over and it became certain that Josh would live. His recovery, both physical and emotional, began much later and has taken much longer."

"Shortly before Christmas this past year, several of Josh Lyman's colleagues became concerned about his behavior. He was especially combative and on edge at all times.  White House Chief of Staff Leo McGarry called in Dr. Stanley Keyworth from the Trauma Victims Unit. Dr. Keyworth's credentials are in your press packets. After meeting with Josh Lyman for many hours on Christmas Eve, Dr. Keyworth diagnosed him with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."

"Yesterday evening, Josh experienced an episode outside of the WLC offices. Following his diagnosis, Josh met with a psychiatrist that Dr. Keyworth recommended. He continues to meet with him and did so yesterday after his episode."

"Last year in Rosslyn we almost lost Josh Lyman. He has fought hard for his recovery, and his strength and determination constantly amaze me. I am, as I'm sure you've noticed, often the first to tease him, but he truly is a good friend and a part of my family. Josh Lyman is a public figure, but he is also a human being. His health status is his own to discuss or to keep private. I can confidently say that his condition has never affected his ability to effectively perform the job of Deputy Chief of Staff. To assume that the diagnosis of a mental illness such as PTSD renders one incapable of performing their job is to perpetuate the stereotypes and myths of years gone by---the kind of stereotypes that the Americans with Disabilities Act was meant to eradicate."

"We have asked Dr. Anthony Timmons, a specialist on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to speak to you today about the disorder. He is not Josh's doctor and will not be speaking specifically about Josh. Dr. Timmons' credentials are also in your press packets. Dr. Timmons will give a brief summery of PTSD and then he'll take questions. Please keep in mind that he will only be answering questions about PTSD generally and not about Josh Lyman specifically."

"Before Dr. Timmons begins, are there any questions for me?"

  
Amy Gardner's WLC Office

Amy's POV

Someone from my office called me at home last night to tell me about Josh's little incident outside of our offices. When I heard that his "assistant," Donna Moss, was with him, I cut her off. I wasn't interested in hearing anymore.

I tuned into CJ Cregg's briefing this morning just to hear how she would spin it. I was stunned to hear her announce that Josh suffers from PTSD. CJ finishes her statement about Josh and opens the floor for questions. The first one comes from a reporter I don't recognize. She's young and she's nervous.

"Ms. Cregg, my name is Marie Smith, I write for the News Journal."

CJ smiles at her, "Welcome to my pressroom Ms. Smith."

The girl smiles back, "My sources say that Mr. Lyman's episode was caused by water balloons that were thrown at him by Ms. Amy Gardner of the Women's Leadership Coalition. Does the White House have any comment on these allegations?"

I'm stunned, is it possible that I really did cause Josh pain?

I shake myself out of it. This is ridiculous. There is no Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. They're just using this to get J out of trouble for messing around with his secretary – assistant, whatever she is. If that's not bad enough, they're using my good name to do it. 

I shake my head, no way am I about to let them do that. Nobody uses me and gets away with it. I'll show them. 


	7. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
White House Residence

Josh's POV

I wake up as I feel fingers gently caress my cheek. I slowly open my eyes and find a smiling Donna sitting on the edge of bed. I grin, "I could get used to this. Of course it would be better if you were in the bed with me." Shit… where did that come from? Donna looks stunned. Oh God, she's gonna sue me for sexual harassment. 

"Donna… I uh…" Great Lyman. Why don't you stutter a little bit, that'll help.

She laughs, "Still enjoying the good drugs Dr. Bartlet gave you?"

I laugh with her, yeah, that's right, it's because of the drugs. Nothing else. I sigh contentedly. The good drugs that are making sleepy again. I feel myself drifting back to never-never land when Donna starts shaking me, "Josh, don't go back to sleep just yet."

I force myself to open eyes, "Yes Donna?"

She rolls her eyes, "You're snapping at me, you must be doing better. I just wanted you to know I'm going to head over to the office for a few hours. If you need me, pick up the phone right here and give me a call."

I laugh, "I'll just yell for you like I always do."

Uh oh, now Donna's frowning at me, that's never a good sign. "Joshua, you are the White House Residence. You will NOT bellow for me over at the West Wing."

"But I'm coming to work with you Donna."

  
Donna's POV

My eyes widen, "No way Josh. You are staying in bed for the rest of the day, even if I have to get a Presidential order."

He growls, "I am going back to work Donna. I'm not an invalid and when was the last time you knew me to sleep all day?" 

There's a slight tap on the door and we both look up as Dr. Bartlet enters the room. She frowns, "What is this I hear about Josh wanting to go to work today?"

Josh nods, "I feel fine to work today, Ma'am." 

Dr. Bartlet continues to frown as she begins a quick physical examination of Josh. After a moment she sighs, "I suppose there's no reason you can't go to work today." She smirks at me just as she exits the room, "That is if Donna permits it anyway."

Josh turns his puppy dog eyes on me, "I need to work today Donna."

I sigh, I hate when he gets stubborn like this, "Fine Josh, we'll both go to work, but we are done by six o'clock tonight, understood?"

"Donna-" 

"Joshua, do not make me reinstate the rules. You won't like it."

He mumbles complaints but agrees anyway. 

I smile, "Now go get in the shower while I go get your work clothes."

I watch him get of bed and trudge to the bathroom. He says he's fine, but I know better. I'll just have to keep a closer eye on him today.

  
Several hours later

White House – West Wing

Donna's POV

Josh is in his office with his door closed. He only has one more appointment today and after that he's going home, even if I have to forcibly remove him myself. 

The phone rings and I answer and quickly no comment the reporter. At some point I'm hoping they'll just give up and call CJ, but I'm not counting on it.

I see movement by Josh's door and turn my head quickly.

Amy Gardner…. I recognize her easily from different political functions over the years. I'm amazed that woman has the nerve to show her face here. I move in quickly before she has a chance to disturb Josh, "Excuse me, can I help you?"

She glares at me, "No, I don't think so. I need to speak to Josh. You can go back to your desk now."

I shake my head, "Josh isn't seeing anyone he doesn't have an appointment with today. If you'd like I can set something up for you at a later time."

She laughs, "Excuse me? Who exactly do you think you are? I want to see Josh and I'm going to see him now."

I stand my ground, "It's time for you to leave Ms. Gardner. I can call security if you're having trouble finding the door."

She smirks at me, "Josh tried to ignore me once before, but the First Lady fixed that. I'll be happy to let her know the kind of disrespect you've shown me. I doubt she'd look favorably on a friend of hers being treated so poorly."

I glare at her, "Nobody gets into see Josh unless they have an appointment. Those are the rules.  You do not have an appointment, therefore you must leave now."

She shakes her head, "As if I'm going to listen to some blonde-hair, blue-eyed, college drop-out. Run along now. J and I have some issues to work out."

I'm so angry now I swear there's probably smoke coming out of my ears. I'm about to rip her head off and tear her limb for limb when I hear a voice behind me, "Actually, it's time you left Ms. Gardner."

  
Sam's POV

I've been listening for a few minutes as Donna goes toe to toe with Amy Gardner. She's doing fine and doesn't seem to need my help. I know Josh wants to be alone today, but that doesn't mean I wasn't going to be nearby in case he changed his mind.

But then I hear Amy's last comment and I know Donna's about to take her to the cleaners. Personally I think she deserves it for what she did to Josh, but the last thing he needs right now is the press having more to gossip about. 

I step between the two women, "Ms. Gardner, Josh isn't going to be seeing you today or anytime in the near future. It's time for you to leave."

She laughs and glances between Donna and I, "What, you're sleeping with him too?" Donna pales and I'm stunned into silence for a long moment before I find my voice, "Excuse me?"

Amy laughs, "You heard me. I wondered how Josh managed to get away with hiring someone so obviously unqualified, but it does make more sense if you're all sleeping with her."

I hear a snort behind me and CJ's in the game.

  
CJ's POV

Josh's office being right next to mine, I can hear everything that goes on in his bullpen as well as my own. I was about to jump in and defend Donna when Sam came to the rescue. I know he feels bad about not being there for Josh earlier, so I decide to stay back and let him handle this one. But Ms. Gardner has jumped way over the line, and it is time for the big guns. 

I observe Amy Gardner coldly, "How exactly is that you can label yourself a feminist and then come in here and talk like that? You said you were here on WLC business, but it doesn't sound like that to me. Now apparently you've got some time on your hands, but the rest of have jobs to do. I'll show you the door."

I can't believe this woman, I was going to take her down before, but now she's in big trouble. I clasp her arm and motion for Sam to grab onto to the other. Together we begin to move her out of the West Wing. She'd have to make a scene to stop us and politically that wouldn't be a wise move for her. We reach the outer security post and deposit her. 

I stand my ground and glare at her as Sam explains to the Secret Service detail that Amy Gardner's not allowed back into the West Wing without previous permission from a member of the senior staff. He nods his understanding and calls someone to escort her out of the building.

  
Josh's Office

Josh's POV

These walls aren't exactly sound proof. On any other day I would've gladly jumped in to defend Donna. I just couldn't today. My brain was telling me to get out there, but my feet were planted to the ground.

What is the matter with me? How could I just sit here? Donna must be so pissed at me right now. I wish I could tell what she's thinking out there.

  
Donna's POV

I hope Josh is okay in there. He had to have heard everything that bitch said.  He's so quiet it's scary. I'm trying to give him his privacy, but I don't want to think about what he'd do if I gave him too much space. How can I go in there without looking like I'm hovering?

I think for a minute, lunch. I'll order him his favorite lunch and bring it in to him. He has to eat anyway. 


	8. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
White House Briefing Room

CJ's POV

CJ looked around. It's been another long day dealing with Josh and the PTSD. I point to Arthur without looking and call last question. Suddenly, looking at his face, I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, but it was too late, I had already called on him.

"CJ, does the White House have any comment on rumors that Amy Gardner was forcibly removed from the premises earlier today by and Sam Seaborn?"

I frown, forcing myself to stay in control, "I'm sorry, I asked for credible questions. That's a full lid folks, I'll see you tomorrow morning." 

I sweep out of the briefing room with one thing on my mind. Whoever leaked this to the press is going to be in for a world full of hurt once I get my hands on them.

  
Toby's POV

I'm waiting in CJ's office as she does her briefing because even before the briefing, I know we need to figure out a media strategy and NOW! This thing should have been done yesterday, but we were trying to give Josh some time to deal with everything.

That time has obviously passed and now we have this to deal with as well. I look up as CJ enters her office with Josh and Sam following closely on her heels. 

Sam looks at Josh, "You don't have to be here for this, we can take care of it."

Josh shakes his head, "I should have taken care of Amy yesterday, but I just couldn't handle it. This is happening because of me and I'm going to help fix it."

I nod, knowing he needs to do this, "Okay, let's get started. First thing we're going to need to do is forget about Amy Gardner. She's a nuisance we don't need right now. The last thing we want is to get into a grudge war against the WLC when Amy's the real problem. Josh, are you to doing an interview with one of the majors?"

Josh sighs, "I'm up to whatever you need me to do."

CJ's biting her lip, and I know she's contemplating the pros and cons of this arrangement. She finally comes to agreement, "I'll see if Danny can do it. He'll go easy on you and write the kind of story we'll need."

Sam frowns, "What about Amy Gardner."

I growl at him, "I don't like her anymore than you do, but we can't go after her right now. We need the WLC too much."

CJ sighs, "This sucks. Toby's right, but it still sucks. However, we do need to find out who leaked the thing earlier. It wasn't Amy, `cause even she's not that dumb. There were only three or four people around when it happened. We need to find out who talked to the press and get rid of them. We can't afford to have a leak that far inside."

Josh nods, "I'll get Donna to make a list of whoever was around then and we'll run down the list to see if we can't find out who the leak is." Josh glances at his watch, "Donna's going to kill me when she sees me, we were supposed to be out of here by six today and it's almost ten."

Just as he says this, the First Lady appears in the doorway, "Joshua Lyman, I do believe you are four hours past your deadline. I don't want to see you in your office until 9 AM tomorrow morning, understood? You and Donna will be staying at the residence again tonight. No arguments."

Josh frowns, "All due respect…"

The First Lady laughs, "If you had left at six like a good boy, I was prepared to let you go home. Four hours later I'm ordering you to stay in the residence and if necessary, I'll get my husband involved. He won't side with you, unless he wants to sleep in a guest room tonight."

  
Josh's POV

I stop arguing when I see the determination on the First Lady's face. I can admit when I'm beat. Plus, though I'd never say it out loud, I am pretty tired, and it'll be nice to sleep in a safe place.

I walk out of CJ's office and find Donna standing there waiting for me. She frowns, "You're late Joshua and I warned you what would happen if you were late."

My eyes widen, "No Donna…" 

She smirks, "The rules are in effect. You will be in bed within an hour. You will sleep for nine hours tonight, and you will have vegetables in your lunch and dinner tomorrow. If you're a good boy, I won't implement the rules for the entire week."

I look around the office in embarrassment, "Donna…."

She rolls her eyes, "Josh, there's like two people left here, everybody else left hours. Come on, let's go back to the residence."

I nod realizing this is yet another time to admit my defeat and follow with little protest. Yeah, I guess I am pretty tired after all.

  
Donna's POV

Who is this quiet man following me around? I don't know he is or what he did with my Joshua, but if he doesn't start making some noise soon I might have to hurt him.

I keep glancing worriedly over my shoulder. He looks exhausted. That's it, the decision has been made. I'm imposing the rules all week, even if I have to get the First Lady to help me again.

I overheard the senior staff decide that even after the scene she made the other day they've decided to back off on Amy Gardner. I'd like to beat the hell out of that whiney bitch, but it looks like I'm going to have to contain myself.

  
Six Hours Later

I wake up to loud noise and am not surprised to see Josh flailing his arms and thrashing back and forth. I move quickly and climb into bed with him, pulling him into my arms, "It's okay Josh, I'm here, you're safe now."

I repeat the soothing words over and over again until he finally seems to calm. After another few minutes, I carefully extract myself from the bed, throw a robe on, and go over and open the door. There is immediately a secret service agent at my door. "Do you need Dr. Bartlet?" 

I shake my head, "No thank you, but some water and some Advil would be nice. I didn't see any glasses in here." He agrees and talks into his sleeve. A few minutes later someone arrives with the requested items.

I re-enter the room and see that Josh has become agitated again during my absence. I set the water and Advil on the nightstand and climb back into bed with him. 

Finally, twenty minutes after I woke up to find him thrashing, Josh wakes up.  He's very shaken and as I try to pull away to get his water he draws me closer. 

After a few minutes I whisper, "I got some water and some Advil, let me get it for you." He lets me go slightly and I grab his water for him. He sits up slightly, leaning back against the bed and takes the Advil in a quick gulp. He hands me back the water and shakes his head. I sigh, knowing he'll wake up in the morning dehydrated, but give up anyway.

I set the water down and he pulls me back towards him, "Stay tonight?"

I nod, "Of course Josh, I'll sit with you until you fall asleep and then I'll be in the cot right next to you."

He shakes his head, "No, sleep with me tonight."

  
Josh's POV

Donna's eyes widen like saucers and I quickly amend, "I just want to hold you tonight." Oh man I am not making this better, "I… Donna…." Come on Lyman, you can fix this, "I'm just afraid that I'll fall out of the bed." Donna smirks, "Well then wouldn't you want more space Joshua?"

She's smirking? She's having fun with this? I'm in trouble and she's having fun with this? God I love this women.  
     At this point Donna takes pity on me. "Scoot over Lyman, you're hogging the whole bed."

I smile, Donna's going to sleep with me. It doesn't matter that I nearly had to sacrifice all of my dignity to get her to do it. Oh, this is very nice.

Donna snuggles up to me and sighs contentedly. Suddenly a thought invades my head, did I say before that I love Donna? I love Donna? Where did that come from?

Donna begins to rub my back, and slowly but surely I fall into dreamland, a sweeter place now that Donnatella Moss is holding me in her arms. 


	9. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
The White House – CJ's Office 

Next Morning

CJ's POV

I've just been given a heads up that Amy Gardner's going to give a press conference outside of the WLC. For her sake it better having nothing to do with Josh or this White House. Toby was right about us backing off her, but if she starts with us… well then the gloves come off and she will feel the full force of this White House. 

If the stakes weren't so high, I'd almost be looking forward to kicking her butt. 

Josh's interview with Danny is set for later today. He looked so bad when he left last night Sam suggested we postpone it a day, but he looked better this morning so we'll see.

The press conference is starting. Well, I take back everything I said yesterday---she is exactly stupid enough to take us on in the press over this. Threatening to charge Sam and me with assault? Claiming that Donna is sleeping Josh, Sam, and Toby? What about me? Maybe we should charge her with being homophobic…. Eh she left out Leo too so…. Wait paying attention again, apparently she didn't leave out Leo.

The door to my office flies open and then slams behind Donna, "Do you want to know what the worst part of this is? I haven't had sex in over a year and a half. If any of that were true, at least I would've gotten some."

Josh opens the door at this point, "That's not true, you had sex."

Donna glares at him and shuts the door again, "Republican sex so doesn't count."

Josh smirks, "That bad huh?"

Donna sighs and mutters under her breath, "I didn't even cum."

  
Josh's POV

Did Donna just say what I think she said? I smirk, "Now that is a crime, I think we need to remedy that situation."

That comment earns me a swift smack upside the head that reminds me that CJ is in fact still in the room. I glance around in a panic. I just said that out loud, I just said that in front of CJ.  Donna's blushing scarlet red and I feel myself start to hyperventilate.

Donna puts her hand on my lower back, "Breath Josh, breathe. In. Out. In. Out." I unconsciously start follow her directions. "In. Out. In. Out."

CJ glares at us, "Josh you stand by the wall over there. Donna you sit on the couch across the room from him." We hesitate and she glares, "NOW!" Donna and I instantly scramble to opposite sides of the room. 

CJ turns her glare on Donna, "What about the leak?"

Donna nods, "It was an intern, I took care of it."

CJ frowns, "You took care of it as in you fired the intern?"

Donna shakes her head, "I took care of it as in the intern's permanently assigned to work that takes her nowhere near the West Wing. I'll fire her in a couple of months for something else."

There's a knock on the door and CJ and Donna both jump to their feet as the First Lady enters. She chuckles when she sees the two of us on opposite sides of the room and me with my back to the wall, "Josh, Donna, will you give CJ and me a few minutes alone?"

Donna and I quickly escaped CJ's harsh gaze and retreat to hide in my office.

  
Dr. Bartlet's POV

I watch Donna and Josh scurry out of CJ's office. I'm not sure what was said before I got here, but obviously those two are getting close to seeing the thing that's been staring them in the face for years.

I smile at CJ, "Those two are waking up huh?"

She nods, "I just wish it were at a better time. Now that Amy Gardner's shone a light on them, it's going to make the whole thing a lot harder to spin."

I nod, "What we need is to get rid of Amy Gardner."

CJ frowns, "I thought Amy Gardner was a friend of yours Ma'am?"

I laugh, "First of all, when we're conspiring like this, I think it'd be best if you'd call me Abbey. Second, Amy Gardner is no friend of mine. I happen to agree with her on a number of issues, but as a person I can't stand the woman. Especially since I've heard she's been throwing my name around in arguments it didn't belong. Amy Gardner has nothing on Donnatella Moss and I think it's about time she found that out."

CJ smirks, "I take it you have a plan?"

I nod, "Amy's boss, Brenda, went to college with me. You and I have a meeting with her in an hour. Amy Gardner's word won't mean much if even the WLC won't back her."

CJ grins, "I look forward to it Abbey."

  
Josh's Office

Donna's POV

I cannot believe I admitted that in front of Josh, and he offered to…. We've been sitting in Josh's office in silence since we entered. Here it is, the worst time ever, but we've gone this far and I can't help but want to push us the rest of the way.

I gaze at Josh, "Did you really mean what you said?"

He gulps, "What did I say?"

His voice gets a little high at the end there, and I know he knows exactly what I mean. He's sitting behind his desk and I walk around and position myself between his legs, "You'll help me out of my little dry spell?"

He swallows hard, "Donna, I want to help you out of your dry spell right here on this desk, but CJ would kill us."

He says this, yet his hands are now resting on my hips.

I nod, "Yeah, these walls aren't at all sound-proof, everybody would know what we're doing."

As I say this I place my hands over his, he nods again and swivels me around, pulling me into his lap. He buries his head in my neck and moans.

  
Josh's POV

We so cannot do this in anyway.  Yet right now, I have Donnatella Moss on my lap and if I don't do something to stop this, I'm going to end up taking her right now right here, no matter what the consequences. I moan again, "You know the Oval Office has pretty thick walls."

She smacks my head, "Joshua." I look up at her, "What?"

She stares at me, "The Oval Office also has the President of the United States in it."

I shudder, "Okay, that dry spell of yours might just last a little longer." She stands, straightening her clothes, "Probably better that way." I nod, disappointed, "Yeah."

She frowns, "Just as long as it doesn't last too much longer."

I laugh, "You are ON Donnatella."

She sighs as she heads out the door, "I better be soon."

  
Leo's POV – An Hour Later

I stick my head in the door to Josh's office, "The President is going for a walk in the Rose Garden, and he'd like the two of us to join him." I see Josh hesitate but know he won't try to refuse a request from the President.

I've already explained to Donna so she simply fixes his shirt and tie before he follows me out. I frown, he was looking a little ruffled when I got there. Ruffled even for Josh. I put the thought out of my head. Even if the two of them had done something, they wouldn't be stupid enough to do it in the White House. I make a mental note to be very clear about that with him later.

We meet up with the President and his secret service detail as we head out to the Rose Garden. I recognize the glint in his eye. I already know what's coming, but Josh isn't aware he's about to be put on the hot seat.

Jed smiles at Josh, "We have some wonderful roses in this garden you know?" 

Josh nods, "Donna tells me about them all the time."

The President smiles, "Yes, women do love roses, and they especially love receiving roses. It's been a while since I've been on a date, but I imagine if I were to date, that I would want to pick roses from this very garden for said date."

Josh frowns, "I'm not sure that's legal sir."

Jed frowns, "Me going on a date? Or me picking the roses for my date?" 

Josh shrugs, "Well neither really sir."

The President glares at me, "You're deputy's not as smart as he thinks." He turns back to Josh, "Me going on a date wouldn't be illegal but my wife would kill me if I gave flowers to another woman who wasn't one of our daughters. You on the other hand could pick a bouquet of roses for your date with Donna."

Josh gasps, "Date with Donna?"

Now it's my turn to glare, "You are planning on taking her on a date before…."

Josh blushes beat red and suddenly I'm starting to wonder if my talk isn't too late after all. I sigh, "Make reservations, and get out of here early tonight, alright?" He looks at me, "But Leo…."

I glare at him, "This Amy Gardner mess is being dealt with as we speak. After your interview with Danny, take Donna out for a nice dinner. Lord knows she deserves it after the past few days she's had. I'll have Margaret make the reservations so it'll be a surprise for Donna." 

After a moment Josh nods, "Okay, I should get back to work."

The President smiles at him, "I'll have those roses ready for you by the end of the day."

Jed and I watch as he scurries away and Jed laughs, "Guess I better go find out if it is actually legal for me to pull up these roses. Last thing Donna needs is to be arrested for the possession of stolen property."

I glare at him, "That really isn't funny sir."

He laughs, "It really is Leo, it really is." 


	10. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

The White House – Leo's Office

  
Leo's POV

After I returned to my office, I not only had Margaret make reservations for Josh and Donna, I also gave her my credit card and sent her out shopping for a nice new dress and shoes for Donna to wear. We don't pay that girl nearly enough and she deserves to have something nice. After everything she's done for Josh, a dress is the very least. 

Margaret almost fainted when I told her she could have the afternoon off to go shopping. The hugging started when I told her she should pick something up for herself as well. When she was leaving, I saw Lily Mays by her side, so Abbey and Jed may be throwing in a little something of their own.

It's almost time for senior staff, and I'm getting kind of nervous. Word came down from Abbey's office that she had commandeered CJ for the afternoon, and CJ had Simon take her noon briefing without telling me. Whatever is it they're up to I wish they'd share with the rest of us.

CJ is the last to arrive and I'm not surprised to see her accompanied by the Abbey. They breeze into the room looking like Cheshire cats and the rest of the senior staff are immediately on guard as a result. 

Abbey starts, "Sorry to interrupt, everyone sit. I've just been informed that the WLC will be holding a press conference now, and I thought we could watch it together.

I frown, "Is there something…"

Abbey cuts me off, "Let's just watch the press conference shall we?"

The President enters just as things are getting started. 

I'm surprised to see that Brenda Werner is giving the conference and not Amy Gardner. My questions are quickly answered as Becky begins.  
"While stability is good in any organization, change is sometimes unavoidable. When personal struggles begin to interfere with the overall good, difficult choices must be made. Due to personal problems [,] Amy Gardner will be leaving the Women's Leadership Coalition. I would like to take this opportunity to make it clear that all of her comments made earlier in the day reflect her own opinions [,] and are in no way supported by myself or my colleagues at the WLC. My apologies are extended to those who were belittled or offended by the earlier comments made by Ms Gardner]." 

Toby's POV

I've been watching CJ and the First Lady the entire time, and neither of them looks surprised, so this is obviously their doing. There's a pause before Brenda starts taking questions.  The President looks between CJ and the First Lady and finally settles on Dr. Bartlet, "What did you have to promise Brenda to get her to do that?" 

We all turn back to the TV when a reporter from the Times asks his question, 

"Ms. Werner, you were seen having lunch earlier today with The First Lady, Abigail Bartlet, and White House Press Secretary CJ Cregg. Is Ms. Gardner's dismissal a result of a deal reached between the White House and The WLC? And if so, were you promised anything by the White House in exchange?"

The room grows tense as we wait for Brenda to answer the question.

"The First Lady and I have been friends since we were in college together. We met today with Ms. Cregg because we were obviously concerned with the nasty turn of events over the past few days. As women we were horrified by the unfounded accusations made against Donnatella Moss, assistant to White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman. Amy Gardner's dismissal was not a result of a deal, this was simply the best decision for everyone involved."

  
Brenda concluded the press conference and Leo turned off the TV. The First Lady rose, "Well, Jed and I have a dinner to attend [,] so we need to leave now. I better not hear about any of you giving CJ a hard time. She did the right thing in coming with me this afternoon, even though we didn't include you."

  
CJ's POV

The First Couple is gone and four pairs of angry eyes turn on me. Leo is the first one to speak, "What'd you have to promise Becky Werner to get her to give that speech, and how much is it going to end up costing us?" 

Toby starts in before I can respond, "You should never have gone along with this Claudia. You should know better by now. This is going to come around and kick us in the ass in the long term.

I glare at him, "Do you assholes actually want to listen to me before you flip out any further?" 

Leo nods, "Let's have it then."

"The First Lady has agreed to speak at a WLC fundraiser next fall. It's not a deal of any sort since Abbey already supports the WLC. This is just a continuation of the support she has demonstrated for years. Becky was anxious to separate this replace `this' with `Amy' from the WLC as well. What Amy did is an embarrassment to women and to the WLC.  This helped them, just as much as it helped us." 

Sam sighed, "Why didn't you tell any of us you were going?" 

I shake my head, "You don't tell me about all the meetings you keep."

Josh frowned, "This is about me, didn't I have a right to know?"

I shake my head again, "It's not about having a right to know. We did what we thought was best, and I still feel that way. If you guys had known, you would have wanted to come along to the meeting, and this meeting was better off without any of you. This was something the First Lady and I felt we needed to handle ourselves. And it is handled. 

Leo sighed, "You work for me CJ, not the First Lady."

I sigh, "This isn't about that Leo. This is your desire to know about everything that's going on. It just wasn't possible this time."

Leo growled, "I'm the Chief of Staff, it's my job to know everything, ALL the time, and not just when it's convenient." 

  
Josh's POV

Luckily for CJ's sake, a knock on the door interrupted Leo's angry words. Margaret popped her head in, "I got the stuff you asked for." She enters with a garment bag and a shoebox. I'm confused when Leo smiles at me, "That's from me."

I frown, "What's in the bag?" 

Margaret rolls her eyes, "A dress of course."

Now I'm really confused, "You bought me a dress?"  

Leo rolls his eyes, "It's not for you. It's for Donna. As are the shoes. It's for her to wear to dinner tonight." He turns back to Margaret, "That's a lovely necklace you have on. "

She smiles, "You have excellent taste, thank you."

Margaret turns her attention to me, her tone all business, "I'm going to call Donna down here to help me with something so that Leo can give her the dress and shoes, and he can give her the First Couple's present as well. After that, we'll have to do her hair and make up, but she should be ready to go within an hour. You just have yourself ready. We rented you something suitable to wear as well. It's in your office. If you need help with the bowtie, ask one of the other assistants, because Donna won't have time to help you tonight."

I nod, "I should head out and get ready then." I look at CJ, "Claudia Jean, walk with me please." She glances at Leo who nods his approval, that he's done scolding her, at least for now.  We walk out of Leo's office and down the hallway in silence. When we reach my office, I motion her inside and close the door behind us.

She's looking at me curiously and I shrug slightly embarrassed, "I just…. I just wanted to say thank you. This was about me, and because of that Amy went after Donna. You and Sam stood up for Donna the other day as well. I should have said something then." I shake away the guilt, "Just thanks." 

She smiles, "Yeah, well, you're not the only one who cares about her. Treat her well, or you'll have me to deal with, and I suspect a lot of other people around here as well." 

  
Donna's POV

I walked towards Leo's office in confusion.  Margaret called and asked if I could come down and help out with something, but had refused to explain with what. I was in the bullpen with the other senior assistants, watching the news conference and cheering at the good news that Amy Gardner had been annihilated. Whatever this is, I just hope Josh is okay. He seemed awfully quiet when I passed him and CJ in the hallway.

Margaret's not at her desk, and I knock on Leo's door and peer inside, "You needed my help?"

Leo shakes his head, "Actually, I have a gift for you."

I frown, "For me? Leo?"

He smiles, "You put up with enough crap from that boss of yours. You deserve something special."

I shake my head, "I'll keep bugging him for a raise, but otherwise, I don't need a gift."

Leo laughs, "Well I'm not sure what I can do about the raise, but I did buy you a present, and my lovely assistant Margaret, is here to present it to you." 

Margaret walks out, closing the door behind her and revealing a gorgeous red gown hanging on the back. I gasp, "I couldn't possibly…. This is too much Leo. I mean this…. This is incredible." 

Leo smiles, "I had Margaret pick out some shoes as well." 

Tears fill my eyes, "Leo, I don't know what to say.  I mean, why?"

Leo shrugs, "Don't mention it. Josh is going to take you out to dinner tonight. This is just something for you to wear. Not that big a deal."

I shake my head, "This is a very big deal. I can't believe you did this for me." I know I'm embarrassing him, but I can't help it. I really am in shock.

Leo clears her his throat bringing me out of my thoughts, "There's more."

My eyes go wide in shock, "There's more? How could there be more?"

Leo nods, "This is from The President and The First Lady.  They wanted to give it to you themselves, but they had to go to a function tonight. He hands me a flat, square jewelry box and I open it to reveal a gorgeous, plain gold necklace. 

It's amazing and my breath catches for a moment. I'm stunned beyond speech. I look up at Leo, "I…. This is all too much. I…."

Leo shakes his head, "You deserve this Donna. You do. Thank you for all you've done, not just for Josh, but also, for all of the senior staff. Your energy everyday brings so much to this White House. Thank You." 


	11. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
CJ's POV – White House – Josh's office

I storm into Josh's office and slam the door. "You are so lucky you're still here."

Josh raises an eyebrow, "Somehow, I think I'd be luckier if I weren't here."

He sees me moving towards him and backs away but I'm too quick for him. I smack him upside the head, "Do I look amused Joshua?"

Josh shakes his head, "No, that's why I was hoping Donna would be ready before you got a chance to talk to Danny."

I glare at him, "Planning on hiding out little boy?"

Josh winces, "Have I told you how much I like your new hair cut?"

I shake my head. "Flattery won't help you here. You answered questions about Donna. I told Danny that was off limits and he agreed. And then you went ahead and answered his questions anyway. Handling the press is kind of my job, Josh. Don't you think there's a reason I told you to stay away from that?"

Josh shrugs, "I'm taking her out to dinner tonight and then…."  He blushes and stops speaking. He shrugs again, "We're going to have to deal with it soon enough."

I glare at him, "Once again, it's my job to handle the press. Don't you think I have a plan for dealing with you and Donna? Didn't it occur to you that if my plans included Danny Concannon outing you in the Washington Post, that I would have suggested it myself? You and Donna and your fairytale love story was supposed to be our out if the current news cycle didn't improve." I soften my voice somewhat at the end, because I know the PTSD is sensitive thing for him.

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair, "You're right CJ, I'm sorry. The press is your thing and I should have listened to you. But you should have told me you had a plan. This is my life and I'm not interested in having it exploited. I know you're trying to help fix the situation, but my relationship with Donna is too important to be used as some kind of political fix."

I nod, "Fine, we both should have communicated better. At least then if you insisted on answering the questions we could have prepped you for it."

He shrugs, "I did okay."

I raise an eyebrow at him, "Why do you love Donna?' It's a simple enough question. Certainly someone with your verbal skills should have been able to come up with something better than, "Take a look at her. How could you not love Donna?" 

Josh sighs, "I didn't mean it like that." 

"So why did you say it? I know you, and I know you weren't talking about her physical attributes, but how do you think a random reader - who doesn't know you - is going to read that?"

"I…. I said more than that, but that was the first thing that came to mind."  

There's a knock on the door and Donna enters. We're both momentarily side tracked by how great she looks. Or rather, I'm momentarily side tracked. Josh seems to have lost the ability to think about anything much less speak.

Donna grins slyly at him, "You like?" 

Josh continues to stare at her speechless. 

I laugh and snap my fingers in front of his face, "You in there?"

He jumps and snaps out of it, "Ah, Yeah." 

He glances away and starts looking at some paperwork, and Donna asks again, "Do you like the dress Josh?"

He shrugs and continues to look at the paperwork, "Yeah, you know, it'll do." 

I roll my eyes and pull the folder out of his hands, then proceed to hit him over the head with it, "You can do better than that Mi Amor."

He glares at me, " CJ, is it possible for you to yell without hitting me?"

I shrug, "Is it possible for you to open your mouth without choking on your foot?" 

Donna frowns, "What'd you do Josh?"

I sigh, "He broke the cardinal rule."

  
Donna's POV

I narrow my eyes at Josh, "You said the first thing that came into your head didn't you?" I turn to CJ, "What's Danny got?"

CJ laughs shortly, "Which little gem would you like? How about this one? Danny asked him if he thought his position of power carried over to your personal relationship, and Josh answered, `Of course, I'm da Man." She rolls her eyes, "Fortunately Danny couldn't stop laughing long enough to take down the exact quote so he decided to let that one go." 

I frown, "I thought our personal relationship was off-limits."

CJ glares at Josh and grumbles under her breath while Josh puts on his best "innocent" face.

I smirk at him. "You're not in a position of power at work, where exactly are these delusions coming from?"

He pouts, "You don't think I'm da Man, Donna?"

I roll my eyes, "Yes Josh, you are da Man."

He's still pouting, "Muster a little more enthusiasm will you?" 

CJ clears her throat, "Can we get back to the matter at hand please?"

  
Josh's POV

Right, the matter at hand, which is if Danny prints all the things I said today, I won't have to worry about a scandal because CJ will kill me, get Leo to help cover it up and then they'll give Donna my job. Okay, obviously I've been quiet for longer than I thought, because while CJ is still glaring at me, Donna's starting to look concerned.

I sigh, "Look, I don't know how, but I'll fix this."

CJ shakes her head, "No thank you idiot boy. I think you've done enough already."

I glare at her, "CJ, don't do that. I'm not an idiot."

She rolls her eyes, "All evidence points to the contrary."

I continue determinedly, "You have to let me help." 

There's a sharp rap at the door and Leo enters without waiting for a reply, "Whatever's going on can wait until tomorrow. Josh, you and Donna get out of here and enjoy your dinner."

I meet Donna's gaze for a minute and send a silent apology before looking back at Leo, "I'm not sure that's such a wise idea now."

Leo tenses, "Why not?"

I look to CJ, "Do you want to tell him?"

CJ shakes her head, "Oh no Josh. This one is all yours." 

I think for a minute trying to figure out if there is a way to phrase this that won't result in Leo hurting me.

He growls, "Spit out already."

I nod, "I said some things in my interview that I probably shouldn't have."

He's silent for a long moment and I brace myself for his wraith. He glances at the clock on the wall and then over to CJ. "As much as I'd love to join you in this game, they really do need to leave for the restaurant."

CJ pouts, "Way to spoil my fun.  Besides, he doesn't deserve dinner."

Leo nods, "Probably true, but a lot of effort went into making this evening special for Donna and if they don't leave now they'll be late." He starts to walk out and calls over his shoulder, "I'm sending Margaret in five minutes, she better not find you here."

I turn to CJ who's now grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary, "What game? We need to fix this."

CJ rolls her eyes, "I already fixed it. You owe me big time, but I got Danny to promise to only write about the PTSD."

"You already fixed it?" I narrow my eyes, "You mean it was fixed before you came in here?"

CJ smirks, "Yes."

"So all of this was just…."

"Purely for my enjoyment." 

I turn on Donna, "You too!"

She nods and rolls her eyes, "Come on. Let's get out of here before we're late and they give away our table." 

She turns away from me and for the first time I see the back of her dress or rather lack of dress. I smirk, wherever she's going I am definitely following. I start to walk out but turn back when CJ calls my name.

"Seriously Josh, you were lucky it was Danny."

I nod, "Thanks for saving my ass CJ."

She smiles, "Always."

Donna reappears in the doorway behind me, "Josh, we need to go now. Margaret was just here and now she's on her way to tell Leo we haven't left yet." 

I quickly steer Donna out of the West Wing, I've already been yelled at once tonight and I have no need to repeat that. 


	12. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
Josh's POV – The Restaurant

I can't help but stare at the vision of beauty sitting across from me. That red dress hugs her body perfectly. In this light, I'd almost swear she's an angel.  

"Josh, are you okay?" 

Donna's been talking to me, but I haven't really been listening. 

"Joshua, answer me."

I see her glance around the room uneasily, possibly looking for an escape route.

I take her hand in mine and squeeze it gently, "Everything is fine Donna. I was just…. Lost in thought was all."

She smiles worriedly at me, "Your sure? Because a fancy dinner is great, and we'll be sure to come back here, but if you're not ready to be out in public like this, it can wait."

I shake my head, "I'm fine Donna. Really, I am."

She smiles happily this time, "You'll let me know if that changes?"

I nod, "I will, although I have every confidence you'd notice it before I did."

  
Donna's POV

I roll my eyes, "I might notice it before you're willing to admit it, but you'd know it was true as well."

So far this dinner is going pretty well. I'm not sure what prompted Josh to bring me here, but I'm guessing there were some scheming hands at work setting it up. 

He really was scaring me there for a minute. He looked so far away, and I couldn't help but wish we were seated closer to an exit. But he says he's fine, and he really does seem better.

I smile at him after he squeezes my hand, "So what made you decide to take me out to dinner?"

Josh shrugs, "Leo told me I had to before we sleep together." 

  
Josh's POV

Secret plan to fight inflation. I did it again. Please someone give me those words back.  Donna does not look pleased.

"Donna…."

She glares at me and I stutter around for the words, " I…. It's not how it sounds."

Donna continues to glare at me, "Really? Because it sounds like you just took the sweetest, most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me and made it cheap and trashy."

I sigh, "Look Donna, I probably wouldn't have thought of it myself, but it doesn't mean I don't love being here with you tonight, or that I did this to get you to sleep with me."

Donna sighs, "No, you just figured I'd sleep with you, without the dinner."

I wince, "Donna… I'm so bad at this, but then you know this already," I say trying to buy some time in order to formulate an explanation. "This may be a new record, I mean, we haven't even finished our first date and I've already started to screw us up."

Donna sighs, "For the record, you haven't screwed this up, yet. But Josh, what is it exactly that you want? I mean, do you really want to be here with me or not?"

I smile, this I have the answer for, "Yes Donna, I want to be here with you. Just now, when I was starring off into space, I was thinking about how lucky I am. You look so amazing in that red gown. I never imagined I would be so lucky to have a relationship with my best friend. I don't want to screw this up before it begins, wait, let me amend that, I don't want to screw this up at all. I'm sorry about what I said before, I really do want to be here with you tonight and it has absolutely nothing to do with Leo but everything to do with you and me. Am I doing any better?"

  
Donna's POV

Wow, he's good at this, he's better than he thinks. Doesn't mean I'm going to let him off the hook just yet. 

The waiter delivers our food just at that moment and we begin to eat in silence. I know it's killing him to wait but I'm kind of enjoying it. Hell, I'm really enjoying it. I know it's mean, but it wouldn't kill him to sweat a little.

I look up at him and meet his eyes. He starts giving me his puppy dog look, and I crack. "Yes Josh, that was better."

I lick my lips, he's not hard to look at in that tux, I briefly wonder who fixed his bow tie for him, but then figure one of the other assistants must have helped him.

I smile at him, "So how did the rest of your interview go? You know, the questions you were supposed to answer."

He shrugs, "It was…. You know."

I nod, I do know, "CJ said Danny told her you were great."

He smirks, "Of course I was."

I shake my head, "Oh how quickly they forget."

He glares at me, "I still can't believe you conspired against me with CJ."

I raise an eyebrow in disbelief and he rolls his eyes, "Okay, so I can believe it, but I so didn't deserve all that."

I sigh becoming serious, "Yes you did, Josh. It's not such a big deal because it was Danny, but when you go behind CJ's back and ignore a deal she made with a member of the press, you hurt her credibility. And even worse than that, in my book at least, you made CJ think you don't trust her ability to handle the press. And I know that's not true."

He's silent for a long moment, "Come on Josh, you don't need me to tell you any of this. What happened?"

He frowns, "I didn't go there today intending to ignore CJ. I really hadn't planned on talking about us. But then when we got started…. Talking about us just seemed like an easier place to get started."

I smile at him, "Fine, but you still owe CJ big time."

Josh winces, "I do, don't I?" 

I nod, "CJ had to promise him a date to get him to do that, but he agreed."

He laughs, "I bet Danny-boy's happy about that."

I smirk, "Only CJ didn't tell him he's not getting that date until after the President's second term is up."

His eyes go wide, "Man she's evil."

I nod, "Who do you think I learned all my master manipulation skills from?"

He pouts, "Me?"

I laugh, "That's cute Josh."

I shake my head; he's giving me the puppy dog eyes again. I laugh, "Fine, I learned from the both of you." I ignore his continued pouting, "So who's taking me out on a date tomorrow?"

His eyes go wide again, "Me?"

I shake my head, "No, I mean. I figure the plan is to prove Amy Gardner correct, so I've gotta get busy working my way through the senior staff. Obviously she has more confidence in my abilities than I did. I mean I figured I could bag you, but if I'm going to sleep with the rest of the guys, I'm going to have to start putting some serious effort into it. Plus I'm not homophobic, so I think I'll include CJ on my list." 

He glares at me, "Not funny Donnatella."

"I beg to differ," I smirk, "Anyway, I would you think you'd be turned on by the idea of CJ and me."

Josh laughs, "Well there is that, and as your boyfriend, of course I'd get to watch."

I roll my eyes, "No Joshua. No watching for you." I smirk, "Besides, as attractive as CJ is, I think Sam would be next on my list." 

He starts choking on the food he's eating and I frown in mock concern, "Something wrong Joshua?"

  
Josh's POV

Sam? Did she just say Sam? She's attracted to Sam? I mean I know she's yanking my chain here, but no way Sam gets to sleep with her. Why would she want to sleep with that pretty boy anyway?

I catch my breath and take a drink of water, "You can't sleep with Sam!  You're not allowed!"

She frowns, "I'm not allowed? You're not allowing me to sleep with someone? How does that work?"

I take a minute, I'm bad with women and speak impulsively all the time, but that's clearly a trap. I'm going to take this slowly and say the right thing: "You're not allowed to sleep with him because we're going to be so busy having sex over the next few months that you'll be way too tired." I wince, `So much for saying the right thing.' 

She's glaring at me again, oh how quickly I can ruin things. She's biting at her lip, "Only sex Josh?"

I shake my head and smile reassuringly, "No, this isn't only sex. I love you Donna. "

She smiles as well, "I love you too Josh." 

A tear rolls down her cheek and I roll my eyes, "Don't get all girly on me Donnatella."

She laughs as another tear rolls down her cheek, "Too late for that Joshua." 


	13. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
The Restaurant 

Josh's POV

Tonight has been amazing. I smile at Donna, "Ready to get out of here?"

She nods, "Still think you're gonna get some tonight?"

I shrug and flash her a grin I know she can't resist, "Am I?"

She laughs, "We'll see."

We're about to leave when the junior senator from Idaho approaches us. He's a middle of the road Republican and we need his support on a couple of key bills. So as much as I'd love to blow him off and leave with Donna, I know I can't. Donna nods at me understanding, "I'll get our coats and meet you outside." 

I nod and my eyes follow her as she walks out of the restaurant. I turn back to the senator who has seated himself in the chair that Donna just abandoned. I listen as he prattles on about some pork bill he wants passed and nod in all the appropriate places. I'm about to excuse myself when I hear the unmistakable sound of squealing ties mixed with screaming and then a loud crash.

The senator and I exchange glances before rushing outside to find out what's going on. I see one group of people surrounding an SUV and a second group of people surrounding what I assume to be a person on the ground. I look around for Donna. She must be as tired as I am and this could be our chance to slip away before the Senator starts talking to me again.

I crane my head and look and but I don't see her anywhere. She's not in the crowd by the SUV, so I walk towards the other group of people. As I get closer, the crowd parts and I don't understand until I get my first glimpse of long blonde hair fanned out on the ground.

Donna! I quickly move to her side and whisper that's she's going to be just fine. I briefly register the sirens as the ambulance draws closer. I start to panic a little but force myself to stay calm. Donna needs me now.

The paramedics push me aside and start to work on Donna. They move her towards the ambulance and I start to follow when someone grabs my arm and holds me back. I turn and find a Policeman in front of me, "I have to go." The officer shakes his head, "I'm sorry sir, but there's no room in the ambulance.  You can ride with me and we'll follow if you'd like." 

I see the ambulance is already starting to pull away and nod the officer, "Let's go." I climb into the car and pull out my cell phone - CJ's my first call.

  
(In the taxi)

CJ's POV

I was about to leave work for the night when Josh called. His voice was completely devoid of emotion as he told me, "Donna was in an accident, we're on our way to GW now." 

I start to ask questions but he cuts me off as he abruptly hangs up. Were those sirens I heard in the background?

I yell for Carol and fill her in on the few details I have and ask her to contact the rest of the senior staff and assistants. 

The cab finally pulls up to the ER and I run inside. I wildly search the room for Josh but don't see him. Putting on my best, calm Press Secretary face, I walk over to the desk, "My name is CJ Cregg. I'm here about Donna Moss."

The nurse nods, "Ms. Moss is being examined right now. I'll show you to the private waiting room where we put Mr. Lyman. 

I nod and numbly follow her. Half way down the hallway I stop in my tracks when I realize that she's taking us to the same waiting room from…. 

The nurse takes a few steps before realizing I'm no longer following her. She turns back to me, "Ma'am?"

I shake the thoughts out of my head and we continue walking. She pauses just outside the door, "I'll send the doctor in as soon as there is news."

I nod, "Thank you, there will be others arriving soon. You'll show them back?" 

The nurse nods, then smiles sympathetically before leaving. 

I walk into the room and find Josh leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed. 

I touch him lightly on the shoulder, so as not to startle him and wait for a response. He doesn't answer me, so I try again -still no reply.  Realizing he's lost in his own world I try a third time, squeezing his arm harder this time. 

Finally he opens his eyes and acknowledges me, "When did you get here?"

"Just now."

He shrugs, "Oh."  His voice is just as emotionless as it was on the phone earlier.

"Where were you, just now?"

He frowns, "What?" He shakes his head, "Oh, no where."

"Josh." This is not good, we all saw what happened the last time he kept his feelings bottled up.

Ignoring my tone, Josh asks, "Did you call Sam and Toby?"

I sigh, "Yeah, they're on their way. What happened? Have they told you anything about her condition?"

"No. Nothing."  

  
Toby's POV

Leo called me on my way over here and said he would be sitting with the President. The First Lady is out at a function and Leo didn't want to leave the President alone. I know the President wants to be at the hospital with the rest of us, but Leo convinced him to wait until we know more. 

Sam and I arrive at about the same time. The ER nurse recognizes us and quickly motions for us to follow her down the hall. I see the recognition flash in Sam's eyes as he realizes where she's taking us. He starts to slow down, not wanting to go back to that room - that night. I don't want to go there anymore than he does but I push him forwards nonetheless. If the look on the nurse's face hadn't told me enough, the fact that we need a private waiting room confirms to me that whatever has happened to Donna is very serious. We don't have time to give into our fear.

We enter the waiting room and Sam sits down next to Josh. CJ's sitting on Josh's other side and she looks up when she hears us enter. I meet her eyes and silently ask questions. She shrugs and I realize she's had her hands too full with Josh to get any answers. She nods her head to the side and for the first time see the other person in the room.

I nod at the door and the Policeman follows me out. I close the door behind and ask quietly, "Can you tell me what happened?"

He nods, "Witnesses say Ms. Moss exited the restaurant alone. She was standing on the sidewalk waiting for Mr. Lyman when a green SUV sped around the corner. The driver lost control of the car and flipped up onto the curb hitting Ms. Moss and then rolled on its side."

"Do we know anything about her condition?"

The officer shakes his head, "The doctors haven't been in yet."

I sigh thinking about the accident, "Was the driver drunk?"

He shrugs, "I arrived on the scene right after the accident occurred, but then left to bring Mr. Lyman here. Unfortunately I don't know very many details. I would have gotten more information, but I didn't want to leave Mr. Lyman alone." He pauses, "He was very upset, and I tried to calm him, but talking to him just seemed to upset him more." If you change Josh's reaction the here the officer wouldn't say that he was upset but rather in shock.

I nod, "Thank you. You'll let me know if you hear anything else about the accident." He nods and starts to walk away but turns back when I call out to him, "Officer, I'm not sure if you know who Josh Lyman is--"

He nods, "The entire White House Senior staff is in this hospital right now. Well except for the old guy." 

I briefly smile at Leo being the `old guy,' "Yeah. The reason I mention it is that because of everything that's happened with Josh Lyman recently, the Press are going to be clamoring for details on how he's handling this.  Anything you may have seen in there…."

He shakes his head, "You don't have to worry about that Mr. Ziegler. I won't be talking to the press. Not about the accident or anything I saw here either.  Someone from the department will give a statement, but I won't be talking to anyone." 

I nod, "Thanks, I've gotta--" I nod towards the room, "You know."

He smiles, "Yeah."

I watch him walk away and linger before heading back into the room. I scold myself for my weakness and push myself forward. I was there for Donna when they brought Josh here. Now it's time to be there for Josh.  
When I walk back into the room my heart lurches as Josh's eyes spring hopefully towards the door, desperate for news about Donna. It's just me and I'm just the guy who does the thing. It's just me and I can tell he's disappointed.

He sighs in defeat and hangs his head. CJ and Sam both look to me, mirroring my own helplessness. I shrug; Donna's the only one who could truly ever calm Josh. I send up a silent prayer to God that he not let Josh lose another person he loves. He doesn't show it near enough, but Josh needs Donna like the air he breathes. I don't know if he could survive losing her. I shake my head slightly, I'm not sure any of us could. 


	14. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
Josh's POV 

My crappy watch tells me we've been waiting here for almost seven hours now, but it feels like it's been days. The doctor finally enters the room and we all look up expectantly. His face is hard to read and my breath catches in my throat.

"Ms. Moss' injuries are very serious but fortunately not as serious as they could have been. Her spleen was ruptured on impact causing internal bleeding. We did surgery to correct the problem and had to remove her spleen. Her right side seems to have taken the force of the impact and her right arm and leg are both broken." 

He pauses to let it all sink but then continues, "Our main concern is the concussion she suffered on impact with the ground. In itself it's not serious, but when a person has suffered as many cranial injuries as Ms. Moss has, any new injury is a concern." 

I stare at the doctor, not fully comprehending his words. I'm not a doctor and none of it means much to me. I've seen a dozen movies where people lived after they lost their spleen, so I caught that part. I didn't catch much else until the last part - Previous head injuries? 

Toby clears his throat, "What does that mean for her?"

  
Sam's POV

The doctor takes a deep breath, "It's hard to say until she wakes up. The most common problem is with short term memory loss."

Josh frowns, "So she won't remember the recent past?"

The doctor shakes his head, "It's important to keep in mind that this is all conjecture at this point. We won't know anything for sure until Ms. Moss regains consciousness. Anything before that is purely speculation -- there's a good chance she could wake up and suffer no permanent injuries."

Josh sighs, "What's the worst?"

The doctor nods, "Her problems wouldn't just be with the recent past, it would be going forward as well. She might have trouble retaining new information or completing complex tasks." The doctor sighs, "But like I said, it's really too soon to say at this point. We won't know anything for sure until Ms. Moss wakes up, and I'd like to stress that we are hoping for the best. Ms Moss has been responding to treatment well so far, and there's no reason at this point to assume she won't continue to do so."

Josh hangs his head and is quiet again. Finally he looks back up at the doctor, "Can we see her now?" 

The doctor nods, "Ms. Moss is being settled in her own room right now. You can visit her two at a time." 

I'm a little hurt when Josh turns to CJ to go with him, but I quickly shake it off - this is not the time for hurt feelings.

Toby leaves to call Leo and update him. He returns a few minutes later and tells me that Leo wants us back in the office to craft a statement.  The press are starting to ask questions about not just the accident or Josh and Donna's date, but they also want to know if this has affected Josh's PTSD. I guess we should have expected that since we just went public with it a few days ago. 

I balk at leaving the hospital without seeing Donna but Toby glares at me, "Josh and CJ are with her now.  When it's time for CJ to give the statement, you can come back and take her place." 

  
Leo's POV 

I'm starting to think there's some rule that prohibits Josh from being happy. I'm sitting in my office waiting for CJ to start the press conference. Abbey got home a few hours ago and shepherded Jed to the Residence. I didn't appreciate Donna from the beginning, but I certainly got my first lesson after Sam's call girl incident. Donna was the only one of us to show Laurie any respect. She put the rest of us to shame. She's not a forceful person, but she's shown us time and again the strength she holds in her. I just hope Josh manages to channel that strength to prepare him for whatever comes next. I have a feeling he may need it, and it would crush him to not be there for her like she was for him.

CJ and Toby were just here going over the finishing details of the statement and I was reminded once again how strong they both are. CJ was the first of us other than Josh to sense that Donna had potential and she was quick to take the younger woman under her wing. Their close friendship was even further solidified after the shooting. I know that Donna has become like a sister to her, and I know she's hurting, but like the true professional she is, you wouldn't know it to look at her. As for Toby, he'd never admit it, but Donna has become very important to him as well. 

CJ and Toby are a marvel to watch as they work together. They have a rhythm between them that never fails to take hold, especially in times of crisis. It's not in either one of their natures to focus on their own individual needs, but as a team they hold each other together. 

Earlier, CJ was focused on supporting Josh while Toby concentrated on getting the speech finished as quickly as possible so Sam could get back to the hospital. Now CJ's focus is on the administration's needs and Toby's is in his office, "working" so he can be sure that CJ gets home all right tonight.

Margaret walks in and turns the TV on letting me know that CJ's about to start. I motion her to join me and she sits down in one of the chairs just as CJ enters the pressroom. 

  
CJ's POV

"Okay folks, you know the drill.  I'll state the facts as I know them and they'll be time for questions afterwards. Deputy Chief of Staff, Josh Lyman and his assistant Donna Moss dined at Equinox tonight. Ms. Moss exited the restaurant before Mr. Lyman. As she was waiting for him outside, a green SUV rounded the corner and lost control. Ms. Moss was struck when the vehicle jumped the curb. The vehicle then flipped over. The driver is being treated at GW for his injuries. I'm not at liberty to release his name or medical status. I have no further details about the accident, but I'm told that a spokesperson from the DCPD will be giving a statement first thing in the morning." 

As I finish, hands fly up across the room. I scan the room quickly before calling on Katie," CJ, can you tell us about Donna's health status? Is she okay?" 

I smile at the question; it's nice to have some good eggs in the crowd.

The easy stuff ends quickly and I start getting questions about Donna and Josh's relationship. I briefly state that Josh and Donna have recently begun dating and that they do so with the blessing of the President and the full support of this administration. These questions are followed by questions about Josh's mental health and if this incident has triggered a PTSD attack. I offer no comment other than "We've already given a full statement about this issue and we aren't going to be giving daily updates." 

With that I call a full lid and walk out of the room ignoring shouts from reporters who still have more questions.

I smile slightly at Toby, who has given up all pretense of working and is waiting in my office, "We're taking my car and NO, you cannot drive it."

  
Josh's POV 

I've been sitting here for hours watching Donna sleep. Over half of her body is covered with casts and bandages. She seems so surreal lying there so still. The doctor said we shouldn't speculate or worry until she wakes up and we know for sure, but that's easier said than done.

Sam got here right after CJ left and insisted on staying the night. He sat down on Donna's other side and promptly fell asleep, which is just fine with me. I still can't believe I was inside chatting up a senator when Donna got hurt. I should have told Senator Jackson I'd talk to him from the office the next day. If I had just left with Donna right away, we would have been gone long before that crazy driver came around the corner.

Speaking of the crazy driver, turns out he wasn't drunk. He was just careless. His car was way overdue for inspection, which is probably why he didn't notice the status of his breaks; they failed.  I shake my head; it's just so random. Any number of things could have been different and Donna would be fine. If we had been on time for dinner, if the service at the restaurant had been faster or even slower, if we hadn't looked at the dessert menu, knowing full well that we weren't interested in dessert.

I'm tired, but I know I won't close my eyes until I know Donna's okay.

My mind wanders back to the doctor's words earlier in the night. He said Donna had several previous head traumas, yet she's never mentioned them to me. After I was released from the hospital, but still spending my days in bed, Donna filled the hours by telling me all about her childhood, and her life before she met me. I thought I knew everything there was to know about Donnatella Moss. All the important stuff anyway. How could she not tell me? She had a head trauma tonight, and that was accident. But if someone hurt my Donnatella, I will find the guy, and when I do you can bet I'll do way more than audit the poor sucker. 

Nobody said it before, but we were all thinking it. Donna wouldn't be Donna if she couldn't remember to do things, if she couldn't learn new things, she'd be devastated. I sigh and rub my eyes wearily. Donna has to be okay, she just has to be. 


	15. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
Josh's POV

I'm worried – It's been twenty-four hours since the doctor led us to Donna's room and Donna seems so confused. Dr. Michaels keeps reminding me that after any head trauma it takes a few days for the patient to recover, and that it's too soon to assess the permanent damage. But Donna seems very out of it.

It's too soon to worry? 

She stirs in her sleep every few hours and asks where she is and how she got here, but she still hasn't opened her eyes and she's not awake long enough, or coherent enough for me to answer her. And then a few hours later she's awake again with the same questions.

My Donna is confused and scared and I can't help but worry.

I'm trying to be strong for her, but it's harder than I ever imagined. The rest of the Senior Staff and assistants have been trading off so there's always someone here with us. I guess they're afraid I'm going to wig out or something, but really I'd prefer the time alone with Donna. I'll have to head back to work soon enough before the press starts talking about the Deputy Chief of Staff that isn't sane enough to do his job and it'd be nice for us to have some time alone before the reality of work sets in again.

  
Donna's POV

Whatever I drank last night, I swear to God I never will again.  It must have been a lot since I can't even remember drinking it. It must have been extremely strong since I can't remember drinking at all. I've only been hung over once in my life and as far as I remember it wasn't nearly this bad.  My eyelids feel like lead as I struggle to open my eyes. The last time my head felt this bad it was because — no, it's not that. My head is throbbing and I also ache all over – but he's gone now, that's not even possible. I'm definitely suffering from a hangover.

I moan quietly, this is not good. I hear movement around me but I ignore it and concentrate on falling back to sleep as quickly as possible.

"Donna." 

Josh's voice penetrates my sleepy haze. Great, Josh saw me drunk; he's going to mock me about this forever. It's not like I haven't taken care of him in a drunken state plenty of times. In fact, there have been several occasions where his drunken antics have had me in stitches--oh God, please tell me I didn't do anything that I will spend the rest of my life wishing I hadn't.

"Donna." 

Josh, I swear to God, I will never mock your sensitive system again, just let me sleep through this hangover.

"Donna."

There's his voice again. Why is he talking so loud? I open my mouth to scold him but only manage to moan again. If this is a hangover, I'm never touching a drop of alcohol again.  
"Donna. I know it hurts, but stay with me. Sam went to get the doctor."  
The doctor? That catches my attention quickly. I open my eyes just slightly and squint at the bright light. Everything is fuzzy at first but after a moment, Josh's face finally comes into focus.

He smiles at me, "Thank you."

I frown in confusion.

"I've been waiting here all night to see you open your eyes."

Everything is cloudy and confused in my head, but Josh is smiling so I smile back at him. I try to anyway, except it hurts to smile. >From what I can gather, I'm in a hospital, but I have no idea why I'm here or why I hurt so much. 

Twenty minutes later the doctor has examined me, given me more pain medication, and I begin to gently drift off to sleep to the feel of Josh's hands caressing my hair.

  
One Week Later

"But Josh…" 

"No Donna, I am not going to bring work home for you. I told you, no work until next week at the earliest."

"But I'm bored." Just so you know, I'm not whining, just emphasing my point in a high pitched tone.

Josh shrugs, "So sleep some more."

I glare at him, "This mother hen thing you've got going on got old days ago."

"Are you arguing with the rules Donnatella?"

My scowl deepens, knowing I won't win this argument, no more than he would have won when our roles were reversed. I swear he's being stricter than I was, but CJ laughed when I told her that on her last visit. Josh is allowing everyone but Toby a half an hour visit. Toby, a calmer influence than the rest, gets a full hour but has only been by to visit once. 

I'm seriously going crazy lying around doing nothing. I got home from the hospital four days ago and when I say home, I should clarify home to mean Josh's condo. He didn't really give me an option of going back to my place, not that I would have really argued with him anyway. His place is nicer than mine and I've been enjoying the company.

We settle into the guest bedroom and start watching a movie. It's one of my favorites, but it's my fourth movie of the day and I'm not really paying attention. My thoughts wander to the conversation I had with Toby when he visited two days ago.

  
Two Days Previously

I'm surprised to wake-up and find Toby sitting beside my bed reading the paper. I smile at him, "Toby, you should have woken me up." He shrugs, "I sent `your mother' to work for a few hours and I was enjoying the peace and quiet."

He continues to read the paper as he casually mentions, "We had a conversation with the doctor who operated on you." Toby pauses for a moment. He peers over his paper at me, "He mentioned something about you having previous head injuries." He looks back at his paper and I am incredibly grateful because I am frozen. Of course my medical history would have been talked about.  We sit in silence for what seems like forever until we hear Josh arrive home.

Toby stands and for a moment I think he's going to leave without saying another word. When he reaches the door he turns back, "I don't need to know, I just wanted you to know that he knows and it's driving him crazy. You don't owe him any answers, but he's worried about you." He pauses, "Also, you know, if you've got a problem, I've got a baseball bat." That said he turns and flees the room.

  
Present Day

Now here we are two days later and I've finally figured out exactly what I want to say to him. I glance over at him; it's now or never. 

"Josh?"

He turns and I smile hesitantly, "Look, I know that you know about my medical history." He starts to talk but I shake my head, "No Josh, let me finish." He nods but I know how hard it is for him to stay quiet.

I think the above intro is a little to abrupt, how about something like this… 

"Josh?"

"You know Donna, it doesn't matter how many times you ask, I'm not you're not working."

"No, I wasn't going to ask about that."

Josh turns his attention from the TV screen and looks at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I wanted to talk about…"

"Donna?"

"My medical history," I blurt out. Josh looks at me this look a cross between apprehension and relief; this really has been eating at him.  He waits for me to continue, saying nothing. I sigh, "I know you have questions, but I don't have answers, not really. It was a long time ago and it's something I've never talked about. It's not something you can fix now and I need for you to leave it alone."

He frowns, "Donna, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

I nod, "But I can't tell you about this. Not just yet. Josh, I've never talked about this with anyone. There are just some things…." I trail off, "Can you trust me when I tell you that someday I will tell you, and leave it at that?"

He sighs, "Donna…."

I shake my head, "Please Josh, promise me. And I don't want you to try and find out some other way either. I just need you to give me the space I need on this. I need to be the one to tell you about this, in my own time."

I watch him as the confusion in his eyes turns to hurt. "Josh, it's not…" I trail off again as he gets up and abruptly walks out of the room.  "It's not you." I finish to an empty room. 


	16. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
The next morning

CJ's POV

I'm here early this morning in hopes of finding my desk under a mountain of paperwork. I'm smiling as I walk into my office but freeze when I realize I'm not alone.  Josh has been working short days all this week, so what the hell is he doing asleep on my office couch at five am? Closing the door behind me, I steel myself for whatever this latest disaster will be.

"Josh, Josh…" I shake him gently and he startles awake. 

"I'd order you coffee, but I'm hoping it's not that bad."

He frowns very much like a petulant child, "Don't do that – only Donna can do the coffee thing."

"Is that what you kids are calling it these days?"

Oh this is so bad.  I just made a sex joke to Josh Lyman, albeit a bad one, but I purposely put that right at his level and yet nothing, not even a flicker of a smile or even a smirk in sight.

"Come on Josh, what's going on?"

"What makes you so sure something's going on? Maybe I just wanted to see you."

I raise an eyebrow but remain silent. He being him of course takes this as a challenge – which one of us will break the silence first. I'm pretty sure it's totally escaped him that he came here because he needs my help.

I sigh, "Josh, I can't help you fix this if you won't tell me what I'm fixing."

He nods, "That's just it, I don't know what's wrong. She won't tell me and she won't let me find out on my own either."

I wince – It's not hard for me to figure out who or what he's talking about, and I'm not surprised she won't talk about it. I did some research myself earlier in the week and I have a full understanding of the Moss family hidden secrets. I didn't want to invade her privacy, but now that's been talked about it and there's a chance the press could get it, I had to find out for myself. He's watching me, his eyes searching mine for answers.

"Why won't she let me in? There's nothing I wouldn't tell her – I thought she felt, you know, the same."

"She does Josh, but she can't talk about it to you or anyone else until she can admit it to herself. You, better than anyone, ought to understand that. When she's ready to talk about it, I'm sure you'll be the first one she'll go to. And even if you aren't, that doesn't mean she doesn't trust you. This is all about her and not at all about you."

I see my words sinking in, but I also know he's still fighting it in his mind. This is Josh Lyman – I expect him to come back at me multiple times before it all sinks in.

"You know what she's hiding, don't you?"

"Josh," I warn. He has this pleading look that I can't ignore. "I know so far as a Press Secretary needs to know—"

"The press are sniffing around?" he asks alarmed.

"I deal with it; I just needed to be prepared. But my point is, I know so far as a Press Secretary, but as a friend, I know nothing, and until Donna feels ready to talk about this, I'm happy for it to stay that way. She needs her friends to be her friends Josh; she's not ready to talk about her past. Do you really want to betray her trust and find out about this when she explicitly asked you not to?"

"But how can I help her if she won't let me in?"

And there it is – Josh Lyman – this man who wouldn't have a clue how to ask for help for himself, but doesn't hesitate to get help when it comes to what Donna needs.

I shrug, "Look, I know you want to know, but you don't have to know to help her. Go home and hold her – reassure her that whatever it is, none of it matters. This is something you have to let her work out herself."

Josh's POV

I hear what CJ's saying. I know what it's like to try and hide from the pain and hurt in your past, but I also know that didn't work for me. I ran as far and as fast as I could and it still came back to bite me in the-you-know-what. 

"What if she can't do it alone?  I couldn't…."

CJ nods, "There might come a time when she'll need you to step in and help her, but she's not there yet."

"How will I know when she gets there? And why do I have to wait that long – why does she?"

CJ smiles softly, "You'll know when she gets to that point the same way that she knew when you needed help – because you know her. As for waiting, it's not about you being ready – you have to let her call the shots here. She didn't have a choice then, but you have to let her have the choice now."

I sigh, "So you say, go home and just hold her? That's all?"

CJ nods, "You look like you could use the rest. Have you been sleeping on my couch all night?"

I shrug, "I walked around for a while, but then I just came here."

The words play through my head and suddenly it falls into place. I just walked out. I was so upset I just got up and left there. And I was gone all night.  What if she needed something?

CJ smacks me upside the head and I glare at her, "What the hell was that for?"

"I don't know, but you got that look on your face like you'd done something stupid. Now go home and fix it before I have to get out Toby's baseball bat."

"But what about…"

"Go" she commands. It's Saturday and Senior Staff isn't until nine. You'll have time."

I nod, "Thanks CJ."

She nods, "Now GO already!"

  
Donna's POV

I wake-up to the strangest sensation of being watched. I open my eyes and find Josh standing in the doorway. I reach my hand towards him and he moves quietly towards me taking a seat on the side of the bed.

"I'm so sorry Donna."

I shake my head but he continues, "I'm sorry I left you. I shouldn't have--"

"No," I interrupt more forcefully this time, "You needed some time – the important thing is that you came back."

He nods, "But I still shouldn't have – I mean what if you had needed me during the night. It's too soon for me to have left you alone like that."

I smile, "Your concern is sweet Josh, but I'm really okay and I had a phone right here if I wasn't. You were only a cell phone call away the whole time."

He sighs, "Donna, whatever it is that you won't tell me."

I frown, "I still can't Josh…."

He shakes his head, "I know Donna, I just want you to know, that I'm going to be here when you're ready. There isn't anything you can't tell me. We'll deal with it together. I just wanted you to know that."

I feel tears fill my eyes, "I love you Joshua."

And then were kissing, and it's like nothing I've ever felt before.

We pull apart when our need for breath outweighs our passion. Josh smiles at me, "I love you too Donnatella." 


	17. I Need You

**Character(s):** Josh, Donna  
 **Pairing(s):** Josh/Donna  
 **Category(s):** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** TEEN  
 **Disclaimer:** None of the characters are mine, and no copyright infringement is intended.  
 **Summary:** I start to cry, "Donna, Donna, I need you." "Okay," she replies. "Okay Joshua, hold on, I'm coming. You just hold on."  
 **Spoiler:** The Women of Qumar  


* * *

  
Six Months Later

Josh's POV

Today is our first day back to work after a four day weekend. And no, in case anyone's wondering, our vacation was not by choice. Who knew that we'd end up with a foot and a half snow fall in December? We don't normally get that much snow all month, let alone in one storm.  And then the freezing rain that fell on top of it certainly didn't help matters. It started at about 3 a.m. and by 6, the roads were totally impassable.  That was Thursday, and due to the snow and the freezing rain that came after it, the Federal Government was closed for four days straight. Well technically, it's always closed on Sunday, but that wasn't my point.  Needless to say, after four days off, today is going to be quite a day.

I'm lost in thought as I drive into work. Donna officially moved in with me three months ago, so I no longer have to worry about her driving in inclement weather. I grin at her, "Ready for today?"

She rolls her eyes, "It's hardly today Josh, I know you're anxious to get back to work, but it's not even 4 a.m. Do we really need to be on our way to work already?"

I sigh, "But Donna, I was ready to go at two, I let you sleep in."

Donna smirks, "You were ready to go at two? No, that was at one and then again at three. It's not like we've been sleeping the whole weekend."

I laugh, I am so da man, "Donna, we've been away for four days straight, do you know how high my in box is gonna be? After the last four days, I wanna try and leave as early as possible tonight, so we need to get a head start. The sooner we start, the sooner we can leave. And, I don't know why you're complaining, I let you sleep in."

She snorts, "How could I sleep at all with you tossing and turning all night? We've only been out of the office four days Josh, I swear the place didn't vanish."

I shrug, "Well how would I know if it did?"

"Hmm, I don't know Josh, considering you've been watching CNN since you woke up today, I'm guessing you'd have heard something by now if the White House did, in fact, disappear into thin air."

  
Donna's POV

Oh this is too easy, "Then again."

He frowns very much like a petulant child, "What?"

I shrug, "Well the Press Corp hasn't been at the White House either, so really, they might have missed it. You'd better hurry and be sure. A rescue might be in order.

He sighs, "Very funny Donna."

I shrug, "Really Josh, I'm serious; I mean what if the White House did just up and vanish? What would we do with our lives? And what about the Country? They'd have no President to lead them? Things would be in shambles. It'd be all out anarchy."

He glares at me, "Enough already."

I smirk, "No seriously, it's a good thing we're going in extra early so that we can save the White House before anyone else notices it's missing."

We turn a corner and the White House comes into view, "But look, it's still there. Now we can just get right to work. You know, excluding the fact that anyone we'd need to meet with or call won't be working yet."

He shrugs, "There's work I can do on my own."

I glare at him, "Things have been slow recently Josh, we're all caught up on that kind of stuff, and don't talk to me about work that's been piling up for the last four days because I've got news for you, it was a state of emergency.  The entire Federal Government was shut down. Your inbox will look exactly how we left it on Wednesday night."

He pulls into his parking spot and turns to me, "Well then why the hell are we here so early?"

  
Leo's POV  
Two hours later

I can't help but smile at the sight in front of me. When I arrived at five thirty, I was expecting to be the first one into the office. Then again when the guard told me that it was Josh and Donna that beat me and that they'd arrived a good hour and half before, I really wasn't all the surprised.

Josh must have been going crazy cooped up for four days.  He was probably up all night in anticipation of getting to come back to work. This kid must have been hell during the holidays.  Apparently they didn't find much work though, because upon entering Josh's office I found Josh and Donna snuggled up on his couch asleep with cartoons blaring from Josh's TV.

I rap on the door and Donna sits up quickly, "Leo."

"No, relax; I'm the only one here."

Donna elbows Josh, "Wake-up."

"No, just a few more minutes."

Or at least that's what I think he mumbled. Hard to tell.

"Owwwwwww."

And suddenly he's awake. He glares at her, "What the hell was that for? I said in a couple more minutes."

She nods her heads towards the door and he looks up suddenly realizing where he is.

Josh jumps to his feet, "Leo, I… Uh-- Leo."

He's not at all awake now; this is going to be so much fun. I roll my eyes, "Yes, we have established that Leo is in fact my name. Now can you tell me what you think you're doing behaving that way with your assistant in the *White House* of all places?"

"Uh well Leo, I uh. I –"

I wait silently, knowing he won't need any help digging the hole deeper.

"We were just keeping warm. You know it's cold in this building. You should do something about that."

"Cold? If you're cold, I have a warm sweater in my office that you can borrow."

Josh shakes his head, "No, thanks. I'm warmed up now."

"Yeah, but I don't want to take any chances. Can't have either of you catching a cold. Margaret has a sweater that Donna can borrow."

Josh starts to object further, but his better judgment - otherwise known as Donna - intercedes and stops him.

I smirk to myself as they silently follow me out of the office. Margaret's mother knits a sweater for her and me every Christmas. They're hideous and neither one of us ever wears them, but Margaret insists that we keep them in the office. Just in case we have a national emergency that causes the White House to lose all heat, and we need to keep warm. I've explained to her that this building has about a dozen back up generators, and is pretty much guaranteed never to lose heat. She insists nonetheless, and I've learned that sometimes it's just best to let her do her thing.

I rifle through the box in my office closet and pull out my sweater from last year for Josh. It's lime green with purple and pink snowflakes on it. The sweater I get for Donna is neon orange with malformed reindeers all over it.

Their eyes widen in horror and Josh shakes his head, "No way Leo, we are not wearing those sweaters. Not at all."

Margaret arrives just at the right moment and breezes in the office, "Is there something wrong with the sweaters my mother made?"

I smile at her knowing I'm going to owe her for this, "Josh and Donna were cold and I told them you wouldn't mind if they borrowed the sweaters for the day. Just for today. After that we'll have to find another solution to keep the two of them warm." 

I add this last part more seriously hoping to impart on them that this isn't all joke.  I mean the sweater thing will do wonders to energize sluggish staffers returning from an unplanned four day vacation, and I never turn down a laugh, but it's more than that. 

For the most part the press have been pretty good about Josh and Donna's relationship. There were a few nasty comments after they started living together, but nothing from anyone reputable. That said, I can't allow Josh and Donna to get too comfortable with each other at work. This morning was innocent by anyone's standards, but the line between innocent and not, can be easily blurred. The boundary between their home life and their work life needs to be clear to everyone involved, but them especially.

Margaret smiles innocently at Josh and Donna, "Sure, you can each borrow a sweater. Just be careful with them, they're very important to me."

  
Donna's POV

I nod to Margaret that we'll be careful with her sweaters. I can't think of any possible way to get of wearing them without offending Margaret, and trust me when I tell you, offending Margaret is a mistake you only make once. I learned from watching Josh make that mistake and never bothered to repeat it myself.

Josh and I are about to leave the office when Margaret stops us. "Wait, put them on here. I want to see how they look on you."

We exchange looks and reluctantly put them on. Oh my, trust me when I tell you that neither of these colors do either of us any favors.

Charlie chuckles as we walks into the office with a memo for Leo. He smirks at us, "Nice sweaters."

I hold back a groan; this is going to be a very long day.

  
Donna's POV  
That Night

This is has been a miserable day. It's almost midnight and we've been working all day. I think I grabbed a piece of fruit for lunch and a yogurt for dinner. My feet are killing me and if I hear one more damn person comment on these stupid sweaters I swear I will beat them over the head repeatedly with a stapler or something. I don't know. Did I mention I'm tired?

Josh is on his last thread of patience and I know it's time to get him out of here before he turns on the next unsuspecting person that walks into his office. 

  
Josh's POV

I shake my head realizing I've just read the same paragraph three times in a row and still have no idea what it's about. I set the document aside to finish tomorrow and walk out to let Donna know it's time to head out.

I collect Donna and we head out. We arrive home in one piece despite my exhausted state. Donna wanted me to call a cab, but in the end she was too tired to argue with me, so I won out. (Note to self – this would be a good time to ask for something impossible – Nah, I'm too tired myself).

As we're entering my building I look across the street and am concerned to see someone standing on the street corner. He's just standing there, just slightly into the shadows. The creepy thing is that I'm sure I saw him in that same spot about a week ago. 

"Josh."

I turn back and see that Donna's already inside and waiting for me. I shrug it off. If I told Donna she'd tell me I'm just being paranoid. Life is good. We're together and happy. Why invite trouble?  Quietly I follow Donna inside – I'm sure it's nothing.

  
The End 


End file.
